Work In Progress |L.T| |A.U|

XXXIX - Tomlinson

XXXIX - Tomlinson

"Louis..." Her voice falters as she closes her eyes shaking her head. I can practically see the turmoil going on inside her head.

I know this is something important. From how she urged me to FaceTime her right now at any cost even though it's really late back in London and she was still willing to tell me what she's struggling to tell me right now.

"Baby, you're scaring me." I tell her. I sit straighter on my bed, pulling my laptop slightly closer. "What is it?"

"I-" she bites her bottom lip and her eyes turn glassy as she gulps repeatedly. My heart aches at the sight, seeing her so vulnerable and weak specially when I'm nowhere near her. "I'm staying at Liam's." She finally says.

Okay, that's not bad, right?

"Oh, what happened? Anything wrong with our flat? Do you need me to send someone to fix the heat or anything?"

She shakes her head. "It's... I just want some company right now." I nod, letting her know that I understand whilst honestly I just feel like a hard kick to my gut. I am supposed to do that for her, be her company.

"It's okay. When I get back you can come too."

She gulps again. "Louis..." The caution in her voice is much more potent now. "I think I'll stay here for a while."

"What are you trying to say?" My voice raises unintentionally, but I don't make attempts for apologies.

"You're gone all the time and I don't know if..." Her eyes fall from the screen as she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. "I just need some time to think."

"Think about what?"

"Us."

The following moments are spent silently, neither uttering a word as we both stare at each other.

"Are... Are you trying to break-up with me?"

"Maybe."

"Rory-"

"Louis, this... This is hard for me, okay? I was the woman who wanted to raise my baby all on my own before we got together, and now it's just... I'm so dependant on you."

"That's not a bad thing now, is it?"

"It is when you're gone all the fucking time!" She closes her eyes to breathe deeply and I keep my mouth shut. "I don't need this big flat with amazing interiors, I don't need a diamond pendant, I just need you to be by my side. But you're not and I don't know... I just-"

"But you were the one who got me to publish my book, you were the one who wanted that!"

"I know! And I still want that for you! I just don't know if I want that for myself." Her posture deflates; she sulks with sagged shoulders and her eyes once again ignore mine.

"Do you still love me?"

A humourless chuckle escapes her lips as she lifts her gaze bak to mine. "How can you even doubt for a second that I might not l-"

"Then why are you doing this?" I yell, "this makes no sense to me. Why are you leaving me?"

"I'm doing this because I love myself too! And I owe it to myself to give me a chance to see if I can handle this without you, just so I can avoid the heartache every time you publish a book!" She heaves, eyes full of tears. "I'm not leaving you Louis, I just need to think."

It is starting to make sense, but I can't allow it, can I? I can't let her walk away. "But I'll be right back in two weeks, just two more weeks, baby."