Am I nothing more than a distant memory? (A Danisnotonfire fanfic)

Chapter 23- Sadie

Chapter 23- Sadie

After maisy went upstairs to pack her things i turned my attention on phil... 

"Why..." I whispered. He came towards me and i backed away. 

"PHILIP MICHAEL LESTER WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!" I shouted at him. I couldn't keep calm i knew it. He jumped at me using his full name and i glared at him. He looked totally calm on the outside but i could see he was going to crack. 

"Sadie... I didn't wait to marry you for no reason. I didn't say i love you all those times just for the fun of it." He said softly. When he spoke to me like that it always made my heart melt. 

"But why phil?" I asked him.

"Sadie, I love you, I would never do that..."  He said, you could see the hurt in his eyes, it was so freaking adorable. 

"Well I don't Know anymore phil, How can i tell you're not lying to my face? I have a fucking photo of you snogging maisy, my best friend, at our wedding!" I said with my voice shaking and tears threatening to spill.

"Sadie, Listen to me love, that never happened." He said calmly.

"Phil, You can say that all you like but i have a motherfucking photo here. How are you going to deny it when i shove it in your face?" I Said to him harshly. His eyes started to water and i suddenly felt like i had killed a puppy. I stared into his eyes and he just shook his head. 

"Sadie, You trust me don't you?" He asked me choking on the word trust.

"Ph-Phil... I don't know anymore." I said to him truthfully. It was there  and then, for the first time, i saw him cry out of sadness. You could see the glistening tears slide down his face as he started to shake from crying. Oh god. I felt like running over to him and giving him a hug and kissing him. But i couldn't. He kissed my ex best friend at our wedding... He waked over to the sofa and sat down. He actually looked like he was having a breakdown. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me through the corner of his eyes. All i could see is that he was hurt. 

"I-I'm going to go outside to calm down a bit." He said before getting up and walking out onto the balcony. What have i done?  I sat on the sofa where he sat and cried basically. 

** An hour later ** 

Phil came back in at long last and he looked less like an emotional breakdown. I looked down and stood up awkwardly.

"Babe, Please trust me..." Phil said. I didn't notice him walking towards me until i felt his hand on the side of my head and lifted my head up so i was staring him in the eyes. 

"I can't though, Don't you get it phil?" I said to him firmly. His pleading eyes brunt into mine and i let one tear slide down my face. I turned away from phil and wiped it away. 

"Let me see the picture sadie?" He asked. I dug it out from my pocket and gave it to him. I could only bare to look at it once. 

"Sadie, It's not true trust me, come have a look." He said beckoning me over to him. I raised an eyebrow and crassed my arms across my chest. I walked over to him and looked at the picture. It was like a fierce slap in the face to look at it. 

"What part of that isn't real then phil?!" I said to him in dis-beliefe. He had to take another look at the picture. I scoffed and decided to walk away. he grabbed my hand and pulled me back softly. 

"That was your wedding dress. And thats maisy's head. Now i'm pretty sure she was wearing a red dress." He pointed out. Thats true actually. I stared at it for what seemed like hours. Well aren't i a douchebag then.