Good Girl Bad Girl (A Trevor Jackson Story)

50. If This Isn't Love

I decided to take a glass of water in the kitchen to be alone. I drank it in one gulp and then opened up another bottle of beer. After a few gulps, I put it back on the counter and as soon as I did, someone pulled my arm and dragged me out of the kitchen, into the hallway where we could barely hear the noise from the party. I rolled my eyes when I saw my kidnapper.
"Trevor what do you want ? I don't got time fo-"
"Shh !" he whispered, putting his index on my mouth, his hand still on my wrist.
I rolled my eyes again. "It's okay, no one can hear us" I spoke with a normal voice, apparently too loud.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the closest room and locked the door behind us.
"When are you gonna understand that I'm serious when I say 'leave. me. alone !' ?"
"Maddie please hear me out."
"You're gonna say the same thing you say everytime : you're in love wit me, you're sorry, blablabla..."
"No ! Look, can you just please-"
"No ! I won't do you any favor !"
His arms dropped to his sides. "Why are you being like this ?"
"What do you mean ?" I frowned, confused.
"You're not the same with me as you were before."
"Yeah ! I actually liked you until I discovered you were using me"
"Liked me in what way ?" he smirked and got closer to me.
"Pff" I pushed him away and he smirked again, irritating me even more.
"Stop it !! See this is that side of you I don't like ; when you're acting like a real flirt. I liked when you were that sweet guy who tucked in his little sister and was just fun and nice. You actually were aware of that so you became somebody else. Well, I'm not like Amy."
It was his turn to ask me what I meant.
"You know, you said I didn't listen to you apologizing ; but I did. When you said I could ask any girl you slept with if you behaved the same way with them ? Well guess what, I did. Amy told me. She told me you told her you were in love with her. Just like you did with Aaliyah."
"And did I say I loved them ?"
I broke our eye contact. It was funny, everytime me and Trevor were speaking, we were always making eye contact. Never with Eric, it was rare. It was more awkward, less comfortable with him.
"No... But you didn't say it to me either."
"You said yourself you weren't like the other girls for me."
He got closer and this time, I didn't move.
"You said yourself you had an effect on me that no one else had. That no other girl made me feel like you did."
He put his hands on my waist and I stayed still as he whispered in my ear : "That's because you know it's true."
I pushed him away, but only his head moved ; his arms and body were still in the same place.
"And Nora ? Really ? That's the one thing you could do ? Nora. From all the girls you could've taken, you took her. She's such a whore. I am usually respectful of other women but she's not one. She slept with every guy, she is vulgar, she is dumb, and mean. Really ? This proves me you didn't change."
"I did."
He again put his mouth next to my lobe.
"Cuz you changed me baby" he hummed.
He brushed his lips against my neck and i closed my eyes.
He shoved his tongue into my mouth. I tried to fight him, but he grabbed my arms and gently pushed me against the door. He kept kissing me and I struggled, but he was stronger than me. He kissed my neck as I told him to get off me. He put his hands onto my sides and let go of my arms, so I pushed on his shoulders, but it was not working. While he kept kissing me, he slided his hands to my butt and I squealed. As the time passed, I was fighting less, until I stopped completely. What was he doing to me ? It was so annoying. He stopped pressuring his body against me and the door, and pulled me towards him, kissing my mouth, my butt cheeks still in his palms. I could go if I wanted to now. He wasn't forcing me. I finally kissed back and he cupped my face. He rushed to take off our shirts and unzip my skirt so it fell to the floor. He unbuttoned his pants and they fell as well. He ungrafed my bra and got rid of my panties. He roamed his hands all over my naked body, observing it. He looked back into my eyes and pecked my lips, then carried me to the bed. As soon as I was lied down on it, he got on top of me and put on a condom really quickly. He stared into my eyes as he penetrated me. I put my head back up at his gesture ; I felt like a wave of electricity just ran through me.
"Guess having sex during parties is our thing, huh ?" he smirked.
God, I hated him.
He put his head right next to mine to be able to whisper in my ear.
"Does that feel good ?"
He started to go with long, slow strokes. My moans answered for me.
"See this is what I don't get about you Maddie" he kept whispering and going with the same gesture. "You keep telling everyone, including yourself, that you're not in love with me ; but every time we have sex, I'm not raping you, aren't I ?"
He kept going with the same pace. He was driving me crazy.
"You don't believe me because you don't want to ; you don't want to fall in love with me, or any player. You don't wanna be an easy girl, which by the way you're not. But deep inside you-"
He got deeper as he said those last four words, and I let out a sound with my mouth.
"You know I'm saying the truth."
He put his left hand over my chest, leaning on his right hand to not put all of his weight on me. He softly caressed with his fingers the skin around my breasts.
"You don't need Eric. Why do you need him, when you've got me ?"
He got back on both of his hands to be able to look into my eyes. "You don't want him to do this."
He did a long, powerful thrust in me, making me tremble.
"You don't want him to do this to you. You know you want me, and I want you. Not because I am a player. I'm in love with you. You're the only girl I've ever told that."
"But Amy..." I managed to say.
"Fuck Amy" he cut me off.
He kept going and god did it feel good.
He whispered in my ear again. "I want to punch Eric in the face every time he's near you. Do I ever wanted to do that with another girl ?"
I let out another moan, kinda loud this time.
"Did I sleep three time with another girl? No, I didn't. You're the only girl I ever cried for, and I'm the only guy you ever cried for. You're the only girl who makes me smile when I see her pleasured by me. You're the only girl I wanna hear you say my name when we make love. Because I'm not like Diggy. All he wants to do is pleasure his girl during the act ; but I want more than that when I'm with you. I want to love you. And I want you to love me. You never heard me when I tried to explain, so you gon' learn that way."
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as the pleasure grew, Trevor keeping his rythmn.
"I chased you. I want to be all the time with you. I insist so that you forgive me. I hate Eric because I'm jealous. It's the first time I have been in my life. You are, the only girl I ever held hands with in public. I just wanted to fuck them other girls, but I don't anymore. I wanna take you out on dates, cuddle you and call you my princess like I know you are. I do want to fuck you like I never did before, but that's optional ; it's just a part of the relationship. That biker girl at the beginning of the year... Have you ever seen me kiss her again ? No. I don't even remember her name. But I do remember yours and it's the most beautiful sound after your voice. Especially when you moan because of me... Or even when you just get angry because of me, or mad at me, or speak to me... I wanna be the reason you smile. I wanna hold you 'till you fall asleep. I hate when any other guy gets near you. I want you to scream you love me anytime I do this."
He got in real long, deep strokes and he probably felt my walls around him.
"Go-o-o-od !!" I said as I arched my back.
"If this isn't love, Maddie, then what is it ? Huh ? What is it ?" he whispered. "Tell me you love me."
He kissed my neck. "I know you do."
My breathing got louder and heavier as he drove me crazier by the second.
"I love you" he mumbled against my skin.
He thrusted another time like it wasn't enough, and I lost it.
"I love you..." I said, my eyes closed.
I perceived a satisfied smile on his face. "Finally."
He got even deeper and I couldn't take it. He got on his knees and now we were only connected by our private parts, not our whole bodies like two seconds ago where our fingers and legs were tangled, chest to chest and lips to skins. No, after my first orgasm, he grabbed my legs and flexed them. He kept his hands around my shins and leaned a bit in, continuing his job.
"I love you" he repeated.
His thrusts became faster and he finally showed some pleasure ; I thought I was the only one enjoying this.
"Mm... You know, when I slept with all those girls, I did this for me. For my pleasure. But with you, I don't wanna be selfish. I wanna make you feel good, that's it."
I arched my back again.
"Guess this means I'm doing good"
"You are" I sighed.
I got turned on more than ever. It was a huge feeling, almost unbearable. It was out of control, so I suddenly got right back up on my knees and facing him, my legs behind his thighs though. I held onto him as I reached my climax and I was ashamed to admit it, but I moaned so hard I was on the verge of yelling. It was hard to bear, so I just took a grip of him to stay in him, because my feet or knees weren't really helping me since they were around him. He was holding my butt to make it easier, as I calmed down. Then, the noises started to fade, everything got quiet and calm again. No more bed wincing or wood cracking, sheets moving, loud breathings, skins clapping... He lied me down on the bed again and slowly got out of me, making me open my legs wide. He slid his hands on my spread thighs, then passed his middle finger between them, making me tremble one last time. He kissed me and put a sheet over us, then brought me towards him.
"Look at me."
He made me face him and stared into my eyes, his finger under my chin. He kissed my forehead then put it on his. I put my right hand on his cheek and got closer to him as he held me.
"I love you" he repeated again and trailed down kisses on my jaw and neck.
"Hmm... Don't stop" I said.
He continued.
My breath was still heavy and my legs were still shaking, as I tried to calm down.
"I love you..." I let out in a sigh.
He looked up at me.
"Keep going" I murmured while putting my head back up, showing my neck. "Love me."
He did what I said and I rubbed his nape and the back of his shoulders. He left a red mark on my cleavage. He licked my skin up until he got to my mouth. He bit my bottom lip and fell down on his pillow, so I followed and now it was my face on top of his. I pulled away from our kiss and we stared at eachother for a few seconds. I had my left hand supporting me and my right caressing his chest. He was rubbing my arm, and we stayed like this for a few seconds, until he smiled.
It suddenly brought back that memory, from the time where we were getting to know eachother. He was next to me in class and annoying me like always, and he had told me I was pretty, leaning on his elbow. So I smiled and he smiled too. I really remembered well that moment.