Good Girl Bad Girl (A Trevor Jackson Story)

18. I Told You Everything

The next morning, I woke up in my bed, looking at the white ceiling. I stayed a few minutes like this, then I moved my head to my nightstand and grabbed my phone to unlock it and see the unread messages : 1 from Eric, 1 from Trevor. I decided to open up Eric's one first :

"Hey, is it okay if I come to your house at 2PM ? :)"

It was okay, so that's what I answered. I checked Trevor's one next :

"Hey, whatcha doin' today ? ;)"

Just by looking at both of those texts, we could see even if we didn't know them that they were total different boys. Reading Eric's one, we could imagine a tidy, neat well-manared smart boy ; Trevor, we could see a boy not caring about how he was speaking, a flirty, messy bad boy. Woah, what can we just interpret from simple text messages.

"I'm gonna see Eric. You ?"

I put back my phone in my pant's pocket, got up and walked down the stairs in my pajamas, and kissed my mom and dad's cheeks.
As I grabbed an orange juice bottle, they asked me how I slept and what was I doing for the day.

"Eric's gonna come for his lessons, and then I don't know, I'll see. Maybe I'll go shopping with Olivia or something"
"And not with April ?" my mom asked, cutting carrots for the lunch. She always prepare it in advance, it was only 10AM.
I chewed slowerly on my cereals. "Um...maybe" I hesitated.
I didn't really want to tell them that we were no longer friends.
I cleared my throat, got up and put my bowl in the sink. "Anyways I'll go take a shower"
"Alright sweetie" my mom answered.
As I climbed the stairs, I felt my phone vibrating. I looked at Trevor's answer :

"Oh. What are you guys gon' do ?"

I could tell it was bothering him a bit. No wonder why...

"It's for his lessons. I might go see Olivia after that, so if you want you can join us" I typed back.

I let my phone on my bed and got to the bathrooms. During my shower, - yes it's during showers that I overthink about life and serious things, don't ask me why - I thought about what happened those last days. I needed to clear my mind and lay this all down.
I hopped out of the tub and wrapped myself in my turquoise towel. I didn't wash my hair this day, thinking it wasn't necessary. I got out of the bathroom and looked at my phone :

"Sure ! :) I'll be at your house at 5PM, is that okay ?"
"Alright :P"

The conversation was over, and I dressed into a simple sleeveless pink T-shirt, jeans and white socks. I layed down on my bed, put on my headphones and started to listen to 'A Men's World', by James Brown. I grabbed a piece of paper, a book to have a support and a pencil.
I started to write everything who was going through my head because of the events of these last few days :

"Being in a love triangle is not easy -woah really no joke Maddie ? But seriously ; it never was, it'll never be.
I feel like I just can't choose... Alright I know this is really weird. First of all, Trevor. I mean, who'd ever thought he likes me ? I mean, HIM. He's such a player. A bad boy who doesn't fall in love, and flirts and sleeps with any girl ; he cares about the looks, the body and that's it. Eric, on the other hand, is an awesome sweet guy. He cares about me, and likes me for who I am. I wonder if Trevor even really likes me ; he said it to his little sister, but... What if he's overreacting ? What if he's not used to it, and just likes me as a friend and it feels weird to him so he thinks he likes me though he doesn't ?
Yeah but you don't want to suck on your friend's neck.
And anyway I am trying to understand myself here, not Trevor. I should focus on myself : so, which one to choose ?
Well, Trevor didn't actually ask me out... Eric did. I should choose him.
I lied to him when I told him it was because of the age that I wanted to think about it... It's because of Trevor."
The song ended to start another one, 'Ain't No Sunshine' by Bill Withers.
"I imagine if I was talkin' about it to my friends.
Olivia would tell me to follow my heart, but thinking in her head that being with Eric would be so much better for me ; I'm not the type of girl to like a handsome man, get in bed with him then be one of the hoes he dumps. She'd be scared that he breaks my heart ; Eric is a better attendance.
April, if she didn't like Trevor, she would totally ask me why choosing a nerdy guy over a hunk like Trevor.
April... I can't wait that Olivia talks to her to clear up everything. I didn't know why she was mad at me, I didn't do anything wrong.
Back to the boys : why choosing a nerdy guy over a hunk like Trevor ?
...that is the question.
I don't know. When I was with Eric, I fet comfortable, really. He was such an amazing friend and person.
But with Trevor... Sure I was sometimes feeling awkward with him, but damn it felt good when he kissed my neck. I didn't want him to stop. Did I want Eric to do that to me ? To hold my hand, to kiss my cheeks everytime he sees me ? It wouldn't bother me I guess, but I did not want it espacially."

I lifted up my head from my paper and moved my wrist in circle motions to get rid of the pain of writing so much. I put it under my bed, waited for the song to end and then took off my headphones.
I looked at myself in the mirror of my bathroom ; Eric would be coming... I didn't espacially want to look good for him.

That's it !! I got my idea. I smiled wide - not really knowing why though - and took off my pants and shirt. I grabbed an old jogging and a sweatshirt and put them on. I chose some big oversized socks then tied my hair in a messy bun. I brushed my teeth though, to not look dirty, and smirked.


Eric arrived at 2PM at my house. He was probably surprised to see me looking like this, and that was the point.
We went upstairs into my room to not get bothered by my parents, and started to work. Half an hour later, I stopped and grabbed my phone.