Good Girl Bad Girl (A Trevor Jackson Story)

23. "I Can't"

The bell rang and I packed my stuff, waiting for everyone to go out. Trevor, startled, looked at me while I was staying sat.
"You ain't goin' out to next period ?"
I literally eyed him scornfully and got up to go in front of Ms. Deep's desk. He confusely observed me but finally decided to head out.
"So, what did you want to tell me Madison ?" Ms. Deep asked, as nice as always.
"I..." I hesitated. "I can't tutor Trevor anymore. I'm sorry."
All I could see on Ms. Deep's face right now was deception. I understood her, I felt bad...but I couldn't continue.
"Oh... Why not ?"
"I...I just can't. I'm sorry, really, but I can't."
"Is it a family, and/or a personal reason ? You know you can always talk to me Maddie" she confided.
Though I was appreciating, I didn't want to tell her. I mean you don't say that kind of things to teachers...do you ??
But I knew she wouldn't give up, thinking the situation was bad or serious when it wasn't, really. So why not tell her ?
"Um..."
I sat down in front of her.
"I got problems...at home. I try to manage to do my homeworks and tutor Eric and Trevor at the same time but it's not easy, I barely have time for me...I'm just really tired and-"
I let my voice shake and my eyes get wet.
"Oh my god Maddie it's okay !!"
She ran to me and hugged me. "It's okay, dear. You sure can stop tutoring Trevor, that's okay."
"But I feel bad because you asked me to make a good student out of him but now you'll just have troubles again with him..." I prentended. In my brain, I was clearly thinking that they could go have problems with him I don't care. I had time for myself, since I didn't have to take care of the house anymore now that my parents were back.
"It's okay, Maddie. We'll try something else, don't worry about us or him. Just try to have a good time, alright ?"
I nodded and my eyes got dry again. I was such a good actress.

I walked out of the classroom a few seconds later just to realize I have just lied to a teacher.
And it was about something serious.
I started to get frightened. My eyes got lost and I shook a little. I ran to the bathrooms as I heard Olivia calling my name.

I slammed the door of the cabin and collapsed on the floor, sitting down, my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest.
I put my hands in my head to think and calm down ; I just had a panic attack. Not only because of the fact I openly LIED TO A TEACHER but also about the last things happening in the same style of it.
Another reason why I shouldn't have never been with Trevor. The consequences of our relationship made me a...girl. I was not a bad one, but before I met him I was very good. Now I have a less good and expressive english when I'm just currently talking ; I'm cursing out loud and in my head ; I'm less working and studying. I lost April because of him. I had been a bitch to Eric- and here goes the cursing again.
Eric... For a few days I had forgotten about him, thinking about Trevor while I shouldn't have. What did I ever find interesting in him ? Sure he's hot, but I'm not only about that, unlike all of his hoes. That's the thing he didn't understand about me...well I thought he didn't. He actually did and planned to get closer to me by being a good guy because he knew I didn't like bad boys, just to get in my fucking pants !!
I was mad. I was angry.
I applied the usual routine I do when I'm about to explode : take three, deep breaths. It can change everything.
I got up and brushed myself off, about to get out of the cabin when I heard some people  -two by their voices- entering the bathrooms.
"Aren't you like, jealous of her ??"
I think this was Luna.
"No, not really..."
I instantly recognized April's voice.
"But Maddie was your friend, right ? And you fought with her because you were jealous..."
Oh, they're talking about me.
"No, I am not." April spat. "She was my friend but I was annoyed by the fact that Trevor was looking at her. I don't get what he sees in her ; he doesn't like good girls. I mean, I know he wouldn't like me because I am not a hoe -well at least I think, but still, it was making my heart aches a little. She always gets the guys."
"She is a virgin and you're not though..."
"Yeah but still."
I could hear her rolling her eyes.
"Maddie had been my friend for a long time. When she told me Trevor could break my heart, I knew it already. When she told me he could hurt me, I believed her. I believe my friends. And now..."
She hesitated.
"I kinda regret it. I just got crazy I think. I was gonna apologize to her but then she came and got annoyed, so I reacted aggressively, not really knowing why..."
"Oh yeah I remember, you slapped her." Luna laughed.
"That's not funny."
Luna shut up.
"And then Trevor came and defended her, and for me that was it. I was enough of it. I felt so...apart, left alone. Like they were all better without me. But I heard what happened yesterday night... I mean, nobody knows why, but we all know they're not talking to eachother anymore. I should go say something to Maddie... I was gonna do it before anyway."
"Then what were you waiting for ?"
"Guess I was too shy. Come on let's go, I'm done putting makeup on."
Oh right, I was so focused on the subject of their conversation -and nicely surprised- that I forgot that they came in here for a reason.
Once I heard the door clack, I finally got out of my cabin and rearranged myself. I headed out and directly walked to the right, opposite direction of where April went.
With the good luck that I always have, Trevor was in that hallway.
He had the whole school to walk, did he have to do it near me ?
"Maddie !!"
He ran towards me and I continued walking, not slowing down.
"Are you in a hurry ??" he asked, hardly following me.
"Anyways please tell me why are you mad at me I-"
"Trevor" I spat, suddenly stopping, so brutally that he almost fell when he also stopped to stay in front of me. "Leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't EVEN DARE LOOKING AT ME."
"But at least tell me why you're mad at me !!"
He held my arm as I was about to leave.
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME !!" I screamed in the whole hallway. It actually made me think of you know in horror movies when the girl is getting in trouble and screams a super high pitch scream so that people help her but she dies. I don't know, my scream kinda looked like that.
Everyone was staring at us by now. I decided to ignore it, turned around and walked away as people started to go back to whatever they were doing.
I turned at the next angle and finally saw Eric, discussing with Amy. I walked towards him.
"Hey Eric..." I shyly smiled.
"Maddie !" he turned to me. "Hey..."
"Um, can I speak to you for two seconds ?" I asked.
"Sure !"
He excused himself to Amy as we walked a few meters away.
"I thought about it..." I started. "And my answer is yes."
"Really ?" he lifted his eyebrows. "I never thought you'd say yes !!"
He hugged me and I smiled. The bell rang. He pulled away.
"Wanna go out on a date one day ?" he suggested, holding both of my hands.
"Sure ! You'll call me"
"Okay"
Both smiling, we walked our seperate ways to our classes.

A/N : Heeeyyyyy !!! So I know I took time to update this one, but good news : my laptop has been repared !! :D so I will probably update faster now ;P
By the way I almost didn't do it today because I actually came back this morning ready to continue to write and maybe finish it after writing like 90% of the chapter, but when I opened up EVERYTHING WAS GONE so I had like a heart attack and I tried many times to find back the story but Wattpad didn't save it and I didn't know why until I tried again and BOOM !! everything was back to normal and I was so happy !! :) so yeah thank fate or else I would have updated days and days later ;P <3 thanks for reading and don't forget to follow, vote and comment !! :D
See y'all later ;) <3