You're Beautiful

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You and Matt decide to go to a cafe for breakfast, sitting outside with your food, facing the street. When there's lull in your conversation, your mind has time to wander. Girls walk past in business attire on their way back to work. Girls in cute outfits with shopping bags in their arms, their hair and makeup perfect. Adorable skinny girls and curvy girls who are working it. There's even one of those girls who can pull off sweat pants and a messy bun. Of course you're sitting here mentally comparing yourself to them. You know you shouldn't, it's not a competition. Still, it's always been easy to make you feel inferior even though you put on the tough girl persona.

When the silence stretches on Matt listens closer, realizing you're upset and trying to pinpoint what brought you down. "What's wrong?"

Shit. You always forget that he can sense mood shifts. "Nothing, I'm fine." You tell him.

He listens to your heartbeat as you lie before calmly responding. "No you're not."

You sigh. "It's fine Matt. It's not a big deal."

"Alright." He doesn't sound convinced but a minute passes and you think you're in the clear. "You know, if it's still bothering you, I think it is a big deal."

"Oh my god Matt!" You snap. He closes his mouth and leans back, shutting down. You regret it as soon as the words leave your mouth. You hadn't meant for it to come off that harsh but you wanted him to stop asking after it. "Sorry, I- I'm just- I don't know how to talk about it."

He reaches across the table, immediately finding your hand. "Come on. You know you can tell me anything."

You sigh and try to open yourself up, something you've never been good at. "I'm just-" you stop.

"What?" He rubs little circles into your palm, trying to calm you down.

You sigh. If you're going to be with Matt you need to learn that it's okay to share these things. "I'm sitting here watching all the people go by and there's all these women and I can't help but compare myself to them. They're just walking by being so perfect and-" you trail off.

"And what?"

"I don't know."

"You think you're not?"

You just scoff.

He sighs. "I wish you could see through my eyes for a day."

"Matt, I know I'm stating the obvious here, but you're blind."

"Exactly. Someone I used to be close to told me that sight was a distraction and I can't help but agree with him right now. You're beautiful. And I'm not talking about physical beauty. Your personality, you, what actually matters, that's what's beautiful. It might sound cliche but it's true. I fell in love with your mind; your beautiful, complex mind. I feel so lucky every time you share what you're thinking with me. Whether it's a comment on a movie or something completely strange and random or something deep, you astound me."

You smile but before you can say anything he starts up again.

"Plus, Those 'perfect girls' probably have partners that can see. One less thing for you to worry about."

You roll your eyes. "Matt." You halfheartedly scold.

"Anyway, I've heard that you clean up well when you want to." He grins.

You hope he can feel the exasperated energy you're throwing his way since he can't see the look on your face. Then you think about what he said for a minute and it makes you curious. "Wait, who told you that?"

He laughs. "Foggy."

"Well Foggy thinks almost everyone is attractive. I don't think he knows that, but he does."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Remember when we all went to that charity ball?"

"Yeah, how could I forget?"

"Well when we were there Karen and Claire couldn't stop raving about how good you looked in that dress. Usually I'm fine not seeing, I've learned to deal with it. That night though, I would've given anything to see with the way they were talking about you."

"Oh Matt. I'm sorry."

"Oh no. How many times do I have to say that I don't want pity?"

"How are you so perfect? Here I am bitching about insecurities I have to my blind boyfriend who insists he doesn't want pity."

"Hey, it's okay to have insecurities, and I want you to talk to me about them. I mean, you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I would hate it if you thought anything different."

"Thank you Matt."

"And if the 'you have a great personality' thing doesn't cut it for you there's still superficial qualities that I appreciate."

You laugh. "Like what?"

"Your voice and your laugh. Oh God your laugh."

You chuckle. "I thought you weren't supposed to use god's name in vain."

"I'm not, I didn't. That sentence was so worthy of it. And technically it's his title anyway."

"Ah." You nod and take a sip of your coffee.

"Does that help at all?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be fishing for compliments."

"Of course not. If you were you'd be talking to the wrong person; a blind guy can't fight you on it."

"I don't know, you did a pretty good job."

"Well I am a lawyer."

You chuckle. "True."

"Let's go."

"Alright." He stands and holds out his arm which you gladly take as you walk down the streets of Hell's Kitchen.

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