If I knew how to tell the truth when I look at you, instead of lying, and saying I'm fine, I should have told you that this is hell and I'm far from well. It feels like I'm dying inside -and my mind- is stuck on repeat. Defeat, defeat, defeat. I'm on my knees, feeling weak. This must be defeat.
If I knew how to tell the truth when I looked at you, I wouldn't have lied, and said I'm fine. I would have said -instead- that no, I'm not okay. I've lost my way and my days...are now lightless just as the nights are lifeless. All I do is fight, I don't even care who's right, I no longer care inside.
But I swear, if I could look at you and tell the truth
I would have told you long ago that I've lost my soul, it has left a hole, I'm far from whole. Empty is this chest, empty is this head, empty is this flesh. But I tried, even gave it all my might. I fucking tried.
But I could not improve this temper
I couldn't even bottle up this anger. All it did was tear my wounds deeper and made my sick sicker.
Where do I go from here?
Yes, my dear. I swear- I'm fine
I'm not lying, I told you, I was fine
