I met this guy.
He's amazing, almost too good. He has chocolate brown eyes with the hair to match. He makes sure I'm okay. He makes sure my days are good. He tells me how much I mean to him. In the weeks we've known each other I've developed feelings. But the problem I encounter is that I'm not in the position to go after him.
I have someone, but the months we've been together he hasn't shown half of what the other has shown to me. What's mine isn't really mine it seems. He talks to other girls, he gets mad about stupid things. He's physically and mentally torn me down and hasn't gave a damn. The hitting, pushing, the things he's said to put me down. Is it going to get better? Are the bruises ever going to fade? Will he stop being so physical? I still feel the fist in my abdomen. It feels so fresh even though it's been days since it happened.
Wanting help, but not knowing how to get it without him finding out and the pain getting worse. Serching for someone to help, someone to help me put of this oblivion I seem to be stuck in. Trying to push through this, maybe it won't happen again. He loves me, right? The bruises are my fault. Maybe I shouldnt have been so needy and tried to help him. Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did to him. But what did I do? I still don't know the answer.. Just have scars to remind me that it was my fault. Everything, my fault. I'm a fuck up and he knows it that's why he does this. He knows I'm trapped in those eyes, held hostage. No way out.
