So, I guess it's time to start pushing everyone away. Everyone who claims they are really there for you aren't. Always busy? Yet they steady posting about how they want someone to hang. But when I need someone they are no where to be found. I had 2 people in my life who were really there for me. I pushed them away because she told me to. She told me all I needed was her. But in reality I dont even need her. When I need someone to talk to when I'm upset or my anxiety is acting up she's no where to be found. But when she needs me I'm there. Always no matter what, if my mom's bitching at me it doesn't matter becaue I knew she needed me. Where did you go? I'm hopeless. To think that you're there. You hate me because of what I said. I get it. You know I'm talking to you. It's obvious. If it's not read my last story again. "hopeful" clearly it's obvious as hell. But I just wanted to let you know that yeah I miss you. You were the real one. The one where we stalked, the one who trusted me to do things. You let me go out and see people. You, fuck lol. I'm sorry. It means nothing right now. But b, I'm here still. Waiting for you to not hate my ass. I still go through all those pictures we took. The ones where we laughed untill we cried. The pictures grandma took of us when she finally got an iPhone. She was hilarious, always the brightside of everything with you. Even though sometimes she was the reason for your sadness, i was there to help you through her extreme criticism. I hope you're doing good b. You'll always be the one I wish I never was so rude to. After that fight we had about God knows what. Then my stupid messages when I was doped up. Wish I could take shit back. But in life you can't. We both fucked up mostly me. But I'm sorry, truthfully. Wish you could hear me, but I'm just a lost cause now.
