jerk | ross lynch

Chapter 20: It's not his time

Melody's POV:
I walk out of last period, completely ticked. Today has not been a good day. It's been as hot as death in every classroom. All the teachers were crabby today for some odd reason. Probably because of their paycheck. Yeah, whatever. So I wanna see Ross. He'll make me feel better. I want him to take me back to my house, and make the pain go away. If you know what I mean. So I made my way to my locker, hoping Ross would be standing there, waiting for me.

As I turn the corner, I looked to see a terrifying sight, "Ross, no!" I yelled. He turned and looked at me. Guilt and sorrow filled his eyes once he saw me.

Ross had a random kid pinned against the wall, just about to punch him. I have no idea what this kid did to tick Ross off, but it must've been good, cause my boyfriend has been doing a great job with being good. I haven't seen this for about, two weeks maybe? I wasn't mad at Ross, no, if that's what you're thinking. I know he's going through a tough time. He's getting better. I know, this has to be really hard for him. I completely understand.

Ross let go of the kid and has hands slowly opened, instead of having them balled into fists. The black haired kid quickly ran off, until he was out of sight. I turned my attention back to Ross, to see him with his forehead against the lockers. He was breathing in and out deeply, looking down. I felt so bad. I slowly walked up to him and rubbed his back. I can't image what is going through his mind right now. I stopped rubbing his back, and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. I kissed the back of his shoulder. We stood there like that for a few minutes, just to let Ross calm down. He needed to before I could talk to him. I just hope he's okay.

I slowly pulled my hands away and he turned around, facing me. He looked so upset. Seeing Ross sad, makes me wanna crawl into the corner, into a ball and cry. He looks like a lost puppy, in need of an amazing family that will love him. I looked him in the eyes, expressionless. He just shook his head.

"Ross, I'm not mad at you. It's okay, babe," I cooed. He shook his head surely, once more. I sighed.

"I don't wanna be here," he explained, almost in a whisper. I nodded, taking his hand lightly in mine, "Then let's go home," I suggested.

His head shook I again, "No, I don't wanna be here, on this earth," he stated. What? He cant mean, what I think he means? Does he? No.

"I wanna die,"

Those three words killed me. My heart started rapidly beating. A shiver, ran up my spine. What? Tears formed in my eyes, begging to flow out like a river. I finally let one fall. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Why does he wanna die?

"Ross, what are you talking about? Did I do something? Please don't say that. You're my world, I can't live without you. Why do you wanna die?" I whimper. He inhaled a big breath and exhaled. He can't be serious. Can he? I can't lose him, he means everything to me. Literally, everything.

"Melody, I can't do anything right. See, I tried changing for you, but I can't. That kid was ticking me off, and I guess my temper kicked in and got the best of me. I'm not good for you Melody. And I don't wanna be on this earth if that's true, which, sadly, it is. I want you to know that you're amazing, and I don't want you to forget about me,"

"Ross, no! You can't do this to me! I don't care if you're mean to other kids, or bully them. Yeah, I know it's not right, but I don't care. I want you! No other guy has made me feel the way that you do. Please don't, babe. You mean everything to me," I took a deep breath. I was crying, and trying to talk at the same time. One word. Complicated.

But I truly feel this way. I need Ross in my life. Do you see what my life was like, before Ross was in it? Before I met Ross? Yeah, it sucked. But now, he's here, and everything is better. I feel alive with him. He's perfect. I don't just, want him. I need this boy. Like, I need him so bad, it's not even funny. As you can tell. I need him.

"Melody, I'm just going to end up breaking your heart. You know it, I know it. Then, I'm gonna regret it so terribly, and you won't be able to forgive me. I know how this works. Trust me, this is for the best," he convinced. I'm not falling for this. I don't believe any of it. And there is nothing he can do to change that. Period.

"No, I care about you too much. Ross, I will fight for you as long and hard as I have to. I'll keep fighting until I end up either losing or winning. I need you Ross. You don't even understand how much I need you. Without you, I would still be coming home, heading up to my room, and then sitting there bored to death all night. I absolutely love it when you send me funny texts and smiley faces. I need that. I need a good laugh once in awhile. Now, I won't let you do this," I fought. This is one battle I'm determined to win. This is one battle I will win. I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever, it takes.

Ross let out a deep sigh, defeated. I grasped his hand, beginning to pull him out of the school. I held his hand tightly in mine. My boyfriend. My first boyfriend. What I hope will be my only boyfriend. Because I want him, only him. As we walked down the hallway, I spotted two familiar people. Natalie and Jai. They sent me a death glare. Jai must've told Nat. Oh well. Be mad at me. I don't care. I have a new best friend, and boyfriend. A two in one. So ha! They walked past us, not acknowledging either of us.

As we walked out of school, Ross led me to his car. I sat down in the passenger seat and buckled up. Ross started up his little Prius that was once his mothers. Still is. Pretty much. We began driving off, I silence. No radio, no talking. Just... silence. It was a calming silence though, letting Ross think. And also, letting me ponder on as well. About anything, everything. Life, death, people, animals, everything. I don't want Ross to be with my mom. I mean, as much as I'd love for him to meet her, not yet.

It's not his time.