Runaway (Jason Mccann)

Chapter 72

JASONS POV;

As soon as I saw her heels touch the ground, I felt something inside me twist.

Ever had that feeling where you've pushed something away from yourself?
You've made yourself believe something for so long...something that's not even true.

You've fed yourself lies, you've fed your heart lies too.

I couldn't look at her but I could feel her eyes shooting stares my way.

I could feel her presence when I was in the house and heard a car pull up.

She's always there even when she's not there at all, she's there.

I heard her heels clank again and so I looked up to see her open the car door, someone was in there.

I walked down one of the steps of the porch so I could see better.

Justin..

I see his face, he looks angry and exhausted, he looks wounded and afraid.

I can see his lips moving but can't make out the words and as I blink and re open my eyes, Ambers lips are pressing against his, smashing almost..

Just like how she kissed me.

So passionate.

So beautiful.

Once again, I looked down and tried pushing away these feelings I felt. My heart ached and I cannot tell you why.

She slams the door shut and in her hand, I see a gun.

I knew this day would come, I always knew
one day I'd get caught.
One day I'd have to pay for all the innocent people I'd killed.
One day I'd have to say good bye to this world..

It's a shit hole anyway

Amber took steps towards me and as she did I felt myself take a couple backwards.

''Don't run Jason'' she spits.
Her voice sounds so cold, so empty.

No emotion?
No love?
No..anything.

She turns away from me, as if thinking for a while, I stare at her and see all the damaged I'd caused. All the cracks I'd made and the monster she had become.

On her neck - my initials are still carved through, something that'll never fade..a memory that'll never leave.

I stare at her figure, it was once curvy and healthy, it's now just sticks and bones.

I take steps towards her, so we're about a meter away from one another when she turns around and faces me again.

I look at her closely and she does the same.

I noticed her eyes, they are beautiful you know, very small and almond shaped but twinkled even without sunlight shining into them.

I noticed her chubby cheeks and how she lacked bone structure but those imperfections were perfections to me.

As I stared at her, my heart began to ache more and more.

She took a step towards me and as she did I took one back..

''Amber..''
She didn't reply and instead continued staring at me, ready to take another step forward but as she did I said;

''Do not come any closer..,

people like me
are bombs
when our time is up
we will splatter loss
all over your walls
in angry colors
that make you wish
your doorway never
learned our name - never learnt..my name.''

She continued staring at me.

''I know what I've done to you..I've made you believe that hurricanes are gentle and that pain is a gift..
you will get lost in the desperation,
in the longing for something
that is always reaching
but never able to hold''

She opened her mouth wanting to reply but I cut her off

''You should've never fell in love with someone like me
we will destroy your
apartment
we will throw apologies at you
that shatter on the floor
and cut your feet

we will never learn
how to be soft

we will leave.
we always do.''

With that, I turned away from her and walked towards the front door.

Waiting for my time to end at any moment.
Waiting to hear the gun fire and my life end right in front of me.