Somebody Else ✔

The truth.

TW -- suicide and eating disorder and self harm
10/10 would not recommend sucking on ice cubes as a form of dinner guys. Eating disorders are lethal. Please get help if you are struggling.

Helplines (Australian numbers),
Butterfly foundation - 1800 33 4673
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Beyond blue - 1300 22 4636

Another photo of Jace above!
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Izzy.

Edited.

"I thought about killing myself last night." Mum told me, when she picked me up from Sam's house. I closed the door behind me. The light stung my eyes, and my hands grasped the woolen seat protector. Mum started the car and the tires crunched the gravel of Sam's driveway.

Images, of mum curled up in the corner of her ensuite and holding her wrists blinded me momentarily. I slipped my hands underneath the baggy jumper I wore and dug my nails into my skin. I focused out the window, watching the bushes give way to houses as we drove closer to town. I could feel mum looking at me, and my mouth dried.

"Yeah?"

"I was at the river and I thought about driving in." Heat ran through my body, and I couldn't feel my legs crossed beneath me. Rain pounded against the car. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the car window.

"Yeah?"

Mum, huddled in the bathroom was looking at me. I stood in the doorway and felt a hand gripping my shoulder. My chin was wobbling, and we were still another five minutes away from home. Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together.

"Your dad stopped me." Mum said, as we pulled up to the final set of lights before our house. I leaned back in the seat and breathed deeply through my nose.

Mums hands fell in her lap, the red stop light, taunting me. I began to think it wouldn't change until I answered her. "How awfully good of him." I whispered in a thin voice. I kept my eyes steadfast on my pink nail polish. The light turned green, and after a moment the car behind us beeped, prompting mum forward. "When are you going to hospital?" She shrugged, and didn't answer. Mum hated going to hospital, but I hated having her home when she was like this. The rest of the car ride was silent, and by the time we had pulled into our two car garage, I just wanted a smoke.

Mum was quick to get out of the car, and squeeze past dad's work car to get into the house. We always used the workman's door, and found it incredibly odd whenever someone knocked on the actual front door. I saw her safely close the thick, wooden door behind her, I braced my hands on the dashboard, putting my head between my knees. Biting into my cheeks to keep myself from screaming, I silently prayed for someone to come and rescue me. Whether that be a foreign prince or the leader of a spy agency I would leave up to god. Of course though, no one came, so with a trembling body I went inside the house.

Dad was in the kitchen, sitting on the floor. His back was against the white cupboards underneath the kitchen countertop and sink. Dad chewed on his cheek, playing on his phone. Walking past, I kicked him gently on the thigh. "Aren't you meant to be at work today?"

"Yeah." He sighed, an unreserved seed of bitterness in his tone. I dropped my over night bag and curled up on the floor beside him. "I told her not to tell you." Dad slipped an arm around my shoulders, putting his phone on the floor. I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his metallic, earth like smell.

"I don't give a shit." I tried telling him, but my voice broke. I dug my back teeth together, eyes up, on the ceiling. I could hear mum and my sister talking in the lounge room.