Masks, guns and ball dresses.

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Alex.

Edited.

My hands gripped the podium, and I could feel myself sweating underneath the stage lights. I looked out into the sea of tuxedos and dresses, and my face relaxed into an easy smile.

There's a lot of things I wanted to say. Inside jokes only Easts kids would get. The principal Mrs Collins liked to scold us, saying that our year was the worst ever to go through Easts. And I mean we were, no doubt, but I think we had something the other years hadn't -- comradeship.

We looked out for each other, no questions asked. Like the fight club we simultaneously organized and covered up in year 10, the bloodied knuckles we bandaged.

I wanted to talk about Nate Jordan -- how he was better than the school nurse at taking care of us. Or the games of hide and seek that took place even during class time -- and the illicit black market we had going on with chewing gum and energy drinks. The hangovers we had hid and the scarfs we fixed up to hide hickeys on necks. For once, I wanted to tell the truth.

I wanted to talk about Dean Hughes. Dean fucking Hughes and Johnny Wallace -- one was the reason our entire year passed the problem riddled year 11, maybe for his superb tutoring skills, or maybe because he knew how to cheat. The other was the king -- unmatched in the water. His name was on all the swimming trophies in the front office. I wanted to talk about how when they killed themselves -- a month apart -- we Easts kids found ourselves on the school oval in the dead of night, lighting sparklers and screaming and crying and sobbing and laughing and talking about what they had been.

I wanted to talk about how Easts had fucked me up beyond repair and I couldn't wait to get the hell out. But I knew most of that stuff would get us all into trouble, so I stayed quiet and stuck to the script. I picked off from where I had left off, with only three lines of the speech left.

"So, this is for who we were, who we are, and who we want to be. This is for us, at age 12 starting Eastwood with wide eyes and trepidation. This is for us now, struggling to the end. And this is for us in the future -- knowing every moment was worth it," I said, the mic crackling.

There was a silence. Teachers and students alike are confused at my eloquence -- while Cole and I share a private wink. I had been told I wasn't to mention Dean or Johnny -- because they didn't want to bring down the spirit of the night -- but then I saw Blake Wagner. In her black ball dress, she looked perfect -- but her brown eyes were blank and her rich, blonde hair reflected red underneath the lights. She was a caricature of the beautiful, brilliant girl I'd seen dancing with Dean, or running down the street hand in hand with him. She was holding onto Jace -- but the entire table she sat at formed a guard around her.

"To Dean and Johnny," I said to her and I raised my glass -- which the teachers thought was full of apple juice. It was really champagne, one of the final insults from the graduating year of Easts to the faculty.

"Dean and Johnny." They murmured back at me, even though the teachers stayed silent. I was ushered off stage by Mrs Collins after that, who wore a dated violet suit. I couldn't hate her that much though, she had allowed Cole to come, even with his suspension. Cole never told his mum he got suspended. Instead, he lounged at Jace's for the three days and picked out a suit online -- dark blue and the cheapest he could find.

"Nice speech." Aggie said, smacking my ass as I walked back to my seat.

"I'm great, I know." I sighed, falling down into the chair my date, Keira, had pulled out for me. I kissed her hair in thanks, and pulled her close to my chest with an arm over her shoulders -- no matter the 30 centimeter rule our teachers often enforced between students. Keira was morose, and Ava, with her white hair folded around her head in an intrinsic crown -- moved through the crowd to get a drink and we all watched as Keira's eyes followed her through the room. Ava was Matty's date, taken specifically so Keira and her could be together -- even if they weren't allowed to sit next to each other. They had been caught kissing once after school once and it was on strict conditions Ava was allowed to come.

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