I'm Tryna

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Nicki POV

I know what I told Ciara,but I didn't really think she would take the divorce,I just wanted her to stop thinking I didn't love her,it was starting to piss me off bad. We didn't tell the kids yet,it's best to wait a little longer. To play it off I've been sleeping in the guest room,I really didn't expect it to go like this. I never wanted us to get divorced again,I'm sick of having problems with her. I still don't understand why I'm still fucking our relationship up. It's like I never learned my lesson with Alan,it made me mad how she brought that situation up and said she was surprised I wasn't cheating on her. I know I'm wrapped up in my work right now but I kept my word when I said I was never gonna cheat on her again. I text August to see what he's doing.

Me: You up?

It was 2 o'clock in the morning,I just got back from the set an hour ago,I should be sleep but I don't think I'm going tomorrow,I can't sleep anyway.

Auggie 🌃💣🔑: Yea,why?

Me: Just wanna clear my mind,meet me?

Auggie 🌃💣🔑: Aight,I gotta clear mine too,where?

Me: The park

Auggie 🌃💣🔑: Ok,see you soon

I put my phone down and look up at the ceiling. Seems just like the other day she was my woman,shopping malls and holidays,couldn't tell us nothing. Now we're getting a divorce and I'm still tryna deny the fact that this is happening once again. Acting like I been doing my thing and I don't need her,it's obvious I do though. Since we don't share the same bed anymore I can't even sleep at night. I know I got some changing up to do,I'm going out of my mind without her. I can't stop thinking bout the things we did and the way we kissed,I know it ain't right acting like she ain't the only thing I want. No matter how hard I try I just can't get over her,I'm sick from all these lies and games we went through,and I'm sick of being the reason we turned out this way. I'm tryna act like I don't wanna be with her,like I would be ok if she just walked away and like she was just a face and I'll forget her in a day. We've been down this road already and we've been arguing nonstop,as much as I don't want this to happen,it really might be best but I don't know. I'm tryna act like I can do without seeing her everyday,and I can find another person to make me feel how she did but I know that's impossible. I'm so addicted to every part of her,Ima try but I can't let go of her. I'm not tryna act like this no more,I never had anything in my life like this and I would do anything to keep it. I love her more than words can describe and I hate the fact that we're doing this again. I get up,wipe my eyes,put my shoes on and walk out the room,down the steps.

"Ma what you doing up? Don't you gotta go to the set tomorrow?" Zahir asks

"I took off,what are you doing up?" I ask

"Getting cookies" He says

"You ok?" He asks while walking over to me

"I'm fine" I lie

"Why were you crying?" He asks

"How do you know that's what I was doing?" I asks

"Your face and eyes are red and you have stained tears on your cheeks" He says

"It's nothing" I say

"You sure?" He asks

"Yea,just thinking" I say

"I'll be back soon" I say while putting my hoodie on

"Where you going?" He asks

"Talk to uncle August" I say

"Alright,goodnight ma" He says while hugging me

"Goodnight baby boy" I say

I leave out and get in my car,I drive to the park and park the car. I get out and see August sitting on a bench,I walk up to him and he smiles before hugging me. He gets up and we start walking.

"You first?" I say

"Nicole thinks I'm cheating on her" He says

"Damn,that's thick" I says

He sighs and tells me what happened,I hope they get better. As for me and Ci,hopefully we'll get passed this,I swear I don't wanna lose her.

A/N: Damn,so much! You think August and Nicole will get better? Will Nicki and Ciara get divorced for good? Next update soon!

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