I leaned over with my right elbow on my right knee and my left hand holding my phone to my ear. Tears cascade down my eyes as I sniff and try to wipe them away. But the more I wipe, the more it comes down.
"TJ? Are you okay?" The only person I could talk to at the time asked.
I shook my head like he could see me. I felt depressed, angry, disappointed and guilty. I'm still in the hotel in Maryland with a empty glass of wine in front of me and two empty wrappers of Hershey's chocolate on the floor by my feet. "No," I sniffed once more.
"What's wrong T?" Concern was in Riley's voice.
"He has life," I admit. More and more tears cascade down my cheeks, my eyes was burning and I knew it was blood shot red and puffy. "I failed them. I was supposed to protect him and keep him from trouble- but I failed. I failed everyone, even Robert. I'm so stupid Riley, I'm a screw up, a stupid screw up that don't deserve love."
"Now hold on!" He yelled on the other end of the phone. "You did not fail anyone nor are you a screw up. You tried your best as a sister, and daughter. And you do deserve love, whatever you'd did to make you say that was just a mistake. I'm sorry about Chris, and I'm sure you will do your best to get him out of jail. You're strong TJ and don't forget that," I can hear the sadness in his voice. "And you're not stupid. You are the most intelligent, strong, independent woman I ever met in my thirty years of life. You're like my sister."
What he said made me break down into quiet sobs. "I love you Riley," I admitted. "You're like a brother to me, I'm so glad you are by my side through rough and good times. I just wish I was so close to Chris, I could of prevented all of this. I could of kept him out of jail. But no, I had to be selfish and leave him. I only focused on myself-"
"If you haven't focused on yourself, you would of never became a lawyer that would help him out of prison," Riley informed me.
I nod, like he was standing right in front of me. "I should go." I didn't want to stay on the phone long and have Riley hear my cries.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Thank you for being my best friend."
Riley sighed. "I should say thank you for being there for me as well. It's hard to hear that Chris is in jail, and hopefully we'll find a way to get him out of there."
A small smile crept on my face when he said we. "I'll see you tomorrow, bye."
"Bye," Both of us ended the call. I went back to drinking the rest of the wine and crying my eyes out. A soft knock on the door made me stop crying and wipe my tears with my long sleeve that I had bundled up in my hand. I stood up and glanced at the mirror on the wall.
I was a mess. My hair was not tamed, my lips was dry, and my eyes was red and puffy. I felt like shit.
The knock grew louder this time. I hurried to the door before opening it to see Jeffery standing in front of me with a plain white t-shirt, black jeans and of course he looked fine. Like nothing happened yesterday.
"What do you want?" I spat in anger and disappointment.
His head went down in shame as he stuffed his hand sin his jean pockets. "I'm sorry-"
I scoffed then chuckled. "Sorry? You're not sorry."
"Can you let me inside so I can explain myself?" He asked.
I stared at him before moving to the side to let him in. As he walked in I closed the door behind him as he looked around the hotel room. "You have five minutes," I said before turning to him with my arms wrapped around my torso.
