Broken Heart (slow update)

Feeling Lost

This is dedicate to 11maceymarie . She has been a good supporter of me. Mentioning me in one of her chapters. Thank you. Your comments always bring a smile on my face. To everyone of you that read my story, comment on it, rate it, talk about it on FB page. love you.
I also just realized going through the chapters that I switched the tattoos on Sang and Luke. I first had Luke have the "forever" tattoo. So for future readings.... Luke has "always" and Sang has "forever".

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The ride home was quiet. Sang was snuggled in the backseat of North's car with Gabriel. one of the others would drive her car back. Gabriel seem to have attached himself to her. They were all touching her at every chance. a touch on her hand, a hand on her back, smoothing her hair; its like they were afraid she would disappear at any moment. Right now Gabriel had his head on her lap, his face pressing into her stomach. His hand wrapped around her. Sang could feel North looking at them in the mirror as she ran her hand through Gabriel's hair. She got ready for North to yell at Gabriel but when she met his eyes on the rear view mirror North just gave her a nod. Sang felt herself dozing of. she loved this feeling of belonging. She missed this.

Over the next few weeks they fell into a routine. Sang would go to work come home to a house full of boys. Sometime one of them had already walked Winnie. North always had dinner ready. She fell easily into this routine. The familiarity of it reminded her of Charleston. She was following her own routine at work. She knew her time at the hospital was coming to an end soon. She would have to start looking for a permanent position soon. Before she hoped she would stay here, close to Mercy and her family. She had friends in Texas, good friends. she made a life for herself where she was happy. Now she wasn't so sure. She would take a look at what could be her life with the boys and long for it. she wanted to wake up in their arms, kiss them goodnight and say good morning to them. She wanted to know that her boys would be waiting for her when she got home after a late night shift. But she also remembered the way they were before. She can't be the Sang she was at sixteen.

Sang was lost in her thought when she felt someone pull the chair next to her and sit down. Looking up she saw Mercy. It's funny how Mercy manages to show up at the right moment and told her that.

"As corny as it sounds, mothers always know when their baby needs them." Mercy answered her digging into her lunch. "what's wrong?" she asked between bites.

"I was thinking about the boys Mama. I love them, that hasn't changed. But I did change. I'm not the sixteen year old they knew. What if they don't want the Sang I am now. I can't go back in time and be the way I was. What if me being in their life creates the same problems again. I want them mama, I want to be with them. I love the fact that they are here, I get to see them every day. But they are going to have to leave, go back to Charleston. What do I do then?"

Mercy looked at her adopted daughter. This girl has so much love in her, she thought. If only she could see her the way other people saw her. The way those boys saw her. She understood Sang's worry, and she was confident that those boys would be able to overcome any hurdle life throws at them. Sang needed to find that out for herself.

"Show them" Mercy told Sang, "show them this new Sang. Show them your life. What interests you. What makes you happy. Your new family. Give them a chance to get to know you again."

"How?" Sang asked. for a girl that finished med school in five years she could be a little lost on social life.

"Go on dates with them. spend time with them, together and alone with each boy. " Mercy answered as she got up to go back to work.