I sit and think about what Blake is going to say as I stand under the spray of hot water. This shower feels too good, I just want to stand under this hot ass water forever. My head is pounding and my stomach is sour, I'm never drinking again, the hangovers aren't worth it. I get out, dry off and get dressed. I wrap my hair in a towel to dry. I check on sleepy little Blaine as she naps and watch her in her peaceful state, she looks too comfortable. Maybe I'll join her.
I wake up to Blaine fussing as she wakes from her nap. I'm about to whip my breast out to nurse her when Blake picks her up. "Oh shit." I startle. "When did you get here?" I ask tiredly. "Like five minutes ago." He says as he gives Blaine her pacifier. He sits at the end of the bed by my feet. "I bet you're paying for last night, seeing as how drunk you were." He says.
"Yep."
"So, what was all this 'fuck Blake Griffin' stuff about?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know? So, it's just fuck me then? That's it?"
"You make me mad. And I can't get over the fact that you lied to me. You were ready to jump into another relationship while ours was on the back burner, with a married woman at that... And I was pregnant. Like that bugs me. It just says who you really are as a person. It makes me feel like I don't really know you. Like I can't trust you. Isn't that what a relationship is solely based on, trust? What's the point if I don't have that for you?" I look to him. He stares down at Blaine. "And another thing, like I said before, about you being unsure about me. It does suck, and you can't lie and say that you didn't backtrack to make sure you were positive about me. I was always sure about you, I never had to think twice up until now, because you're giving me reason to."
"Aaliyah, if I wasn't sure about you I damn sure wouldn't be here, married to you. And I'm sorry you feel that way. But trust me when I say, I'm sure, absolutely positive I want to be with you. There's not another soul on this earth I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. And if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you then I'll do that. As for that other stuff, I was in a bad place, and you knew that. I didn't have you or my son. I felt like I had to find that somewhere to fill that void and that's it. That's all it was, that's all it'll ever be. And it's over with. There's no point in living in the past letting it fuck up our present and future. I lied, only because I love you. You know, I fucked up, I get it, but I'll never lie to you again no matter how much the truth may hurt, I'll always be honest from here on out."
"Why were you keeping your phone from me?"
"Because, you should just trust me. Period. I'm not hiding anything from you, I promise. Can you just trust me on this? Trust that I'm following through on them vows, because I am and always will."
"Okay.." I nod. "I feel like a fucking monster." I scoff.
"I mean, you had your reasons, I don't blame you." He chuckles. "I like how you were telling people you were married, drunk as you was. Everybody knows now, not that I care. A bunch of people screenshotted that ring and now it's all over my social media accounts. Fans are asking if we're married. They're unsure because you were cussing me out. Keep em guessing." He shrugs and laughs.
"Keep em guessing." I agree.
"Ready to get started on another one of these?" He looks down at Blaine.
"You're crazy."
"So, no?"
"Not right now."
"When?"
"Maybe when Blaine is like 5."
"What? That's a long time from now."
"We'll see, but not right now."
Blake and I go out to dinner later that night. Due to the lack of privacy at my parents house, we make love in the car.
Blaine and I leave with Blake the following morning to his next game. This is our first time getting to do this together. The first time I get to watch him play an away game. They're scheduled to play against New Orleans.
We arrive a day early and kill time exploring the city and eating their famous foods. Blake is pretty close with his teammates and staff members. They all drink as we're exploring and walking around the city. By the time we stop for dinner everybody is pretty much drunk. They're already loud as is when they're sober. The loudness just went up ten times. Everyone is laughing and joking amongst each other. Can't even fucking hear myself thinking. "I'm going to leave in a bit." I tell Blake. "Hold on, baby, just a few more minutes." He says. We stay a bit longer. I scroll through my Instagram feed for no more than five minutes when out of no where an argument erupts between two of the guys. They try to fight, knocking chairs over and dishes fall in the process. The other teammates intervene. As they carry one of the guys away the other is still throwing things, an object whizzes past my face, missing me by an inch or so. Blaine is sleeping in my arms. "Whoa. What the fuck. You almost hit my girl and my baby is right there in her arms." Blake says. The guy is still seeing red which causes him to start an argument with Blake. "Stop. C'mon." I grab Blake by the arm. He breaks free from my grab and continues to argue. "I got this Aaliyah. Go stand over there with Blaine. It's getting to heated for you to be in the midst of all this. I got it." DJ tells me. I do as he says. Next thing you know Blake and the other guy are in an all out fist fight. "Blake! Stop!" I yell at him. I know I probably shouldn't be here in this situation with Blaine. But I can't just leave Blake. DJ and a few others break up the fight. Despite being pulled apart, they still shout profanities at each other. "Blake, come on. Let's go." I call out to him again. "Listen to your wife, bro. Your wife is calling you. Just let it go." DJ tells him. Blake looks over to me. He nods and walks away. "Let's go." He says, putting his arm around me. He's out of breath and his lip is busted. "Are you okay?" I ask. "Yeah." He nods and touches his lip checking for bleeding. "Well, that escalated pretty fast." I tell him.
"Never fucking drinking again. I'm sorry I kept you there. We should've just left when you said. You make the calls from now on." He chuckles.
"Are you going to get in trouble?"
"Fuck, I don't know."
The next day, Blake has a meeting to discuss his punishment. He's been suspended for three games.
The next couple of months don't go so well for Blake as he gets another injury. One day as we're sitting at home we find out that there have been talks of trading him to another team. "You don't know anything about this?" I ask him. "No, first I'm hearing of it. But that's how it is. They don't give you time to take it in. You just walk in the locker room one day and get called in the office, they tell you you're no longer on the team and you have to pack your shit and leave. That's basically it."
"Fucking assholes." I say in disbelief. He chuckles at my remark. "What if you did get traded?"
"It would suck. Because you know, I love my teammates. We're all really close. And that'd mean I'd have to find that chemistry elsewhere. Who knows if I will? And most of all my son lives here. We'd have to build a new life somewhere else... I mean, are you up for that? How would you feel?"
"I feel how you feel. But I'm here for you... With you... For the good, the bad, and the ugly."
"Thanks, babe." He manages a smile, despite being in deep thought wondering all the what ifs.
