There's a lot of commotion and people rushing and panicking around me as we rush to meet a certain time: The time of my wedding ceremony, which is less than two hours away. I sit calmly in a chair with Blaine sleeping in my arms as my hair and make up is being done. I can't stress on my big wedding day. Already, Blaine had a big tantrum and cried herself to sleep in my arms, we had to alter the dress, again, due to my pregnancy weight gain, my brides maids refused to wear the dresses I picked out because they were too "revealing." I now understand why people plan weddings a year or so ahead of time. This shit is definitely stressful.
I stand to put on my wedding dress. It takes a team of people to help me get it on. I look in the mirror at my mermaid style wedding dress. It has an open back with beautiful lace designs on my shoulders and down along my spine. It's gorgeous, and it fits perfectly. We put the finishing touch on, my diamond studded hairpiece. "Beautiful." My mom says to me with tears in her eyes. Her hands rest on my shoulders. "Thanks mom." I give her a warm smile, putting my hand over hers. "5 minutes!" Pops muffled voice says on the other side of the closed door. "Ready?" My mom asks. "Yes." I reply. "Blaine?" I call out for my toddler. "She's right here." Desi comes from behind me holding Blaine's hand. Blaine is wearing a little white dress as well. Of course, she's joining me down the aisle. I take a deep breath. "Okay." I say. My mom is the first to go, then Gail, then Nicki, I hear the soft wedding music playing, it makes its way into the room each time the door is opened. Everyone goes out one by one, until it's just me and Blaine left. "Ready?" I ask her. "Yes!"She says excitedly with a basket full of white rose petals hanging off her arm. We head out into the hall where pop awaits us. "Hey, pretty girl!" He says to Blaine. She giggles. "Wow, Aaliyah. You look beautiful." He compliments. "Thanks, Pop." I say. "Let's go. They're waiting." He holds his arm out for me to grab it and we walk out the double doors into the brightness of the sun. Everyone rises from their seats. Blaine does her flower girl thing, gracefully throwing the petals. I see Blake and Ford waiting at the altar. He's all smiles. We stop just before we reach the alter and say a quick prayer then the wedding officiant asks, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Pop steps forward. "I do." He and Blake shake hands. I join Blake under the altar. Instead of exchanging vows, we agreed to write a note to each other, only opening them when we argue or fight to remind us of why we're married. The wedding officiant then tells us to repeat after him and just like that, it's time to put the rings on. Blake had my original ring redone, adding both our birthstones in it. He puts it on my ring finger and we share a kiss. It's done. Blaine holds the sonogram of her unborn sibling as we take photos of our growing little family after the ceremony. We did it, we came through on our big wedding.
The reception is pretty lit. Good vibes flow through night. We shared our first dance. The song we've chosen to dance to is, Suffocate by J. Holiday. I can remember the day we picked out the song. We were both laying in bed and I was bugging him while he was trying to nap. "Babe, are you going to help me? Or no?" I lay my head on his chest. "Baby, I'm trying to sleep right now. I'm tired. I just got off a shitty 14 hour flight... I promise I'll help you when I wake up, just let me get a couple hours in." His voice is raspy. "Okay." I sit up at the edge of the bed. I begin to think, maybe a big wedding was a bad idea. "Come here." He says. I look back at him, his eyes are still closed. He tugs on my arm, urging me to lay down beside him. I lay next to him and he wraps his arm around me. He gives me a kiss on my forehead. "What do you need help with?" He asks. "I'm trying to pick out a song, and I wanted you to pick it with me. So we could have something we both agreed on." I tell him.
"Crazy by KCi and Jojo." He suggests.
"No."
"Why? It's a good song."
"Just.. No."
"Can I tell you something?" He asks. I look up at him, ready to hear what he has to say. "I use to listen to Suffocate by J. Holiday, on repeat when we first started dating. It explained exactly how I felt about you."
"How you 'felt'? What? You don't feel the same?"
"No, no. I'm sorry... Feel. I still feel the same way about you. Always." He smiles.
"I can't remember how that song went?"
"I still have it in my music library. Want to listen?"
"Duh." I scoff sarcastically. We listen as he plays the song out loud..: Now even though I try to play it off, I'm thinking bout chu all day long, and I can't wait for shorty to come through, from your lips and back up to your eyes, my hands on your hips when we grind, I'm fantasizing bout what I'm gon do to you, got me fienin' for her love can't lie, man you should see how she got me spending all this time with her, I couldn't leave her if I wanted to..
He starts to sing along with the chorus: "I can't breathe when you talk to me, I can't breath when you're touching meee--"He recites the song horribly, so I cut him off before he can go any further. "Stop! Just... Stop." I stare blankly at him. "What did I tell you about singing?" I ask.
"That my singing is awesome and I should sing more often..." He replies, knowing damn well I never said such a thing.
"I don't recall." I say, sarcastically unsure.
"Sorry, I was just caught up in a moment. Let me have my moment, damn."
"Well, don't butcher the fucking song and ruin it for the rest of us."
"Just for that I'm singing the song at the wedding."
"Noooo--"
"Yep!" He cuts me off before I can finish my long winded "Nooo.." I hit him with a pillow and he hits me back, then all of a sudden we're in an all out pillow fight that turns into a wrestling match that turns into love making.
"Do you remember the dance?" I ask him. "Yes, don't panic." He replies as he takes my left hand in his right and places his left hand on my hip then leads the way. "With your two left feet." I joke. He laughs. "I love you, Aaliyah." His tone turns serious. "I love you to, Blake."
We catch a flight later that night to our honeymoon destination. Italy, Europe. I told him I wanted to enjoy the sunset of Santorini, Greece and that's what we plan on doing.
We sit beside each other and discuss baby names. "What are we going to name it if it's a boy?" He asks.
"I kind of wanted to name him after my old friend, Jaxon." I reply. Blake doesn't say anything. He sits there, looking off into the distance. "Or no?" I ask, trying to get us out of the awkward silence.
"Why?"
"Because he was a good person. He was my friend. Like, why not?"
"Well, I'm a good person. And I'm you're husband, I try to be everything else in-between. Why can't my son be named after me?"
"Okay, calm down. It was just a suggestion. It's not like it was set in stone."
"I don't understand why you're still hung on this person. I mean, I get he passed an all, and I'm sorry, but, like why? Were you in love with him?"
"What the fuck? No. Like I said earlier, he was a good person and just what little time I knew him he had an impact on my life. That's it." I shake my head. "He was married, you know."
"Soooo?" His tone acidic as he shrugs.
"I'm not like you, I don't cross those boundaries."
"Okay." He nods. "Whatever, Aaliyah." He gets up from the chair and walks off.
And, here we go again...
