Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It...

Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It... Chapter 24

In my next few meetings with my new shrink, I come to a conclusion.

I actually like her. She’s nice, and funny and really pretty. No, I’m not like that so don’t even go getting any ideas in your mind about me having some lesbian fantasies.

She actually tries to help me instead of telling me how things are going to be, like other doctors have done. They’ve basically told me to talk and tried to get me to by force instead of really trying to figure out why I don’t, or try to figure out why I don’t like to be touched.

And, instead of just focusing on one main thing that everyone seems to be so against, which is me not talking, she focuses on little things. Little things like how I’m doing, if I need anything, things like that.

On my way back from one of my meetings with her, I go past Caden in the hallway and he reaches out as if to stop me. I draw closer to the wall and he quickly drops his hand.

“Hey Senna! I hope you’ve been good. You look like you’ve been good.” He says, sounding kind of hyper. I raise one of my eyebrows and give him a questioning look. “I’m in a really good mood today! I don’t know why maybe it’s those pills they gave me this morning for breakfast they were so colorful. “ He stops to take a breath and I bite my lip, starting to frown. Even though he’s staring straight at me, he doesn’t seem to notice my expression.

He actually doesn’t seem that focused, it’s as if his mind is going from thing to thing, unable to slow down.

“Well I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later bye!” He says, running off down the hallway towards Griffin’s office. I watch him go, staring.

Shaking my head, I go up to my room. It’s already almost night time, and I don’t think I’m going to go down to dinner tonight. I take a quick shower and change into some new clothes that Rebecca got me, and then get onto my cot, curling up under the covers.

It’s getting closer to winter, the leaves are starting to turn orange and fall off the trees. The doctors in this place don’t ever turn up the heat though, so I’m not looking forward to spend another cold winter on this floor.

Maybe Rebecca will realize how cold it is and get me more blankets… I don’t know. So far she’s offered to get me whatever I need… I just need to write it down with her.

---

The next day, I don’t have a long meeting with Becca, only about 20 minutes. It’s her half day, since it’s Saturday, and she gets Sundays off.  I go into her office and wait for her, sitting in one of the chairs. She comes in through a door a few minutes later and smiles at me.

“So I had a good idea last night. I thought, since you don’t talk… you could start carrying around a notebook and writing down what you want. This way, people don’t have to guess what you’re thinking or what you want to say. In my experience, signals get crossed and bad things happen when people have to guess.

I’ve also read your file and seen all the unnecessary treatments you’ve had to go through. Shock therapy? Being restrained and made to have skin to skin contact? Treatments like those aren’t going to cure you, or help you in any way. They will just make you worse. So, will you please start carrying around this little notebook and pen I’ve got for you?” She asks and I nod.

A relieved expression goes over her face and she smiles, handing them over her desk to me. I take them and look down at the cover of the notebook. It’s black with red designs, really pretty. I open it up and see that it has lined paper.

I smile up at her to show my thanks and she smiles back. For the rest of our meeting, she just talks to me about what she’s going to be doing over the rest of her weekend, which includes going back to her apartment and checking up on things then probably going out with friends.

When I leave her office, I decide to go and try this notebook thing out. I walk through the halls, trying to find Caden. Finally, I find him on the stairs going up to my hallway.

“Senna! There you are. Jeez, I’ve been waiting here for like an hour!” He says, standing up and smiling at me. “What do you have there?” He asks, pointing at my notebook.

I flip it open and write something down.

‘Becca gave me this notebook to write down what I need to say since I don’t talk… ‘

I turn the book towards him and he reads it then smiles even wider.

“That’s great! Now we can sorta talk!” He says, getting excited. I just smile slightly in response and sit down on the step near where he was at. “Lets try this thing out.” He says, and sits down next to me, almost too close.”

And that’s how I spend the rest of my day. Having the first conversation I’ve had in..forever… with a boy that just might be my salvation in this place.

---

Hope you liked it. Read, you know, the usual.

Constructive criticism is a must.