Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It...

Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It... Chapter 40

Chapter 40:

It takes me a few minutes to get my bearings of where I want to start. After a second of hovering my pen over the paper, I press down and begin my story.

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‘I don’t really know where to begin, honestly. The farthest back I can remember was being at school on a Friday. I was around 6 years old… so just in first, maybe second, grade. My parents were finally gonna let me go home with one of my friends that day, and I was so excited.

I waited all 8 hours of school and rode the bus home with my friend Ashley after it was over. We stayed up until 9, which was later than I had ever been able to stay up before. Her mom was really nice. She gave us candy and pizza, and let us watch scary movies. It was really fun.

That night, we made a fort in her living room and fell asleep with the TV still on, playing some weird movie. The small sound of the static coming from it lulled me to sleep easily, almost like how rain does. I didn’t have any bad dreams that night, at all.

On Saturday morning, I woke up early and ate breakfast with Ashley and her parents… pancakes with eggs and bacon. It was really good. After that, Ashley and I walked down to the park all by ourselves. Her mom made sure we knew not to stray off of the sidewalk, and not talk to strangers.

Not that I would talk to strangers. I’d had the whole ‘DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS OR YOU WILL DIE’ thing, pushed into my brain since I was able to comprehend words.

Anyways, it wasn’t that hard to walk the short 5 minute walk to the park. I picked some flowers on the way there, and made them into a necklace for myself. I had to take them off soon though, it was starting to get itchy.

When we got to the park, Ashley and I swung and slid on the slides for hours it seemed like. In reality it was only about an hour and a half. Her mom showed up after a little bit and said Ashley had to go home. She seemed a little upset so I didn’t make any protests. At least, from what I can remember. Ashley waved goodbye to me after her mom gave me my lunchbox and backpack from school, and I started to walk home.

I didn’t live far from Ashley anyways. Not far at all. Only a few blocks away. I decided it wouldn’t be too hard to take the bus when I saw one. So I just climbed on. It was really hot outside anyways, the heat was radiating off of everything.

No one really thought it was strange that a 6 year old was riding on the bus, so I didn’t make myself too noticeable. When I started to get close to home, I let a lady know and she pulled the string for me, and the bus stopped to let me off. I was smiling, happy at myself for being a big girl. I knew my mom would kill me if she found out though.

Swinging my lunch box at my side, I walked down the street and soon came into the downtown area, where all the shops were. There was stuff all over the sidewalk near some of the shops, but I didn’t know what it was. I guess I did know though, somewhere inside. But what was a 6 year old mind going to think, seeing the blood on the ground?

Anyways… I decided to visit my friend Josie. She helped out her parents and grandparents in their candy shop on the weekends. Basically, she just sat there and ate candy. The bell over the door jingled as I walked in, and no one came to see me like they usually would. Instead, it was dead silent. I turned around a stand and saw more of that red stuff. The same stuff on the sidewalk outside.

Blood.

All I remember for the few minutes after that was crying. Josie was the one that the blood was coming from. She wasn’t getting up off the floor, either. All she was doing was laying there, staring at nothing. I thought she was playing a stupid mean trick, so I walked out and started to go home.

There were a few people wandering aimlessly on the sidewalk outside. They seemed lost. I kind of felt lost too, but I guess I made it home somehow. I walked in on nearly the same scene from the candy shop though.

Blood, on the porch.

Blood, in the foyer.

Blood, on the wall.

Blood, in the kitchen.

Blood, coating the knife.

Blood, pooling around my mother’s face.

Blood, coming from a bullet wound in my dad’s back.

Of course, I didn’t know it was a bullet wound at the time. And now, I really was confused. Something was wrong, my mommy and daddy were on the floor in the kitchen, not at the door welcoming me home or giving me cookies or hugging me or smiling…

Those bodies on the floor… they weren’t my mommy and daddy anymore. They were twisted, gruesome, blood coated corpses. More tears then, streaming down my face. I ran outside and sat on the sidewalk outside for a little bit, sniffling and pulling at my hair like I used to do when I was smaller.

A woman came by after a little bit, and gathered me up and pushed me into a car. I only remember flashes of this, just her voice telling me things in whispers, a hand stroking my forehead, the smell of the car and what seemed like peppermints.

They must have taken me to the police or something, because I recall sitting at a long table, across from a guy wearing a badge and walkie talkie, with a gun strapped to his hip. He was asking me all sorts of questions that I didn’t know how to answer, so I just sat their silently, staring at him.

I think that’s the first time I stopped talking. The moment I first became a ‘mute’.

When they figured out that they couldn’t get answers from me, they sent me on my way. Some social worker woman came in and grabbed my lunchbox and back pack – I still had them for some reason – and escorted me by the arm out of the room. Next thing I know, I was being shoved onto a bus… and she was with me. I don’t know why we were on a bus, but we were.

We switched buses a few more times, and I guess she was trying to take care of me but doing a pretty shitty job. I was exhausted and starving by the time we got well… here. I was 6, and being put into an asylum. Nice, right? I thought so too.

At first everyone here seemed nice. I was put with some other kids… but no one really understood why I couldn’t talk… or wouldn’t. Well, I guess it’s because I didn’t talk. I didn’t really have that many friends, and when I did make one, they would leave a while later.

And when I started getting older, more and more people started to hate me, it seemed. Even the doctors.

Finally, when I reached the age of 12, I was dropped up on the top floor and basically left there to rot. I guess they just got tired of me wandering around everywhere, never leaving. I have no idea why they haven’t discharged me yet… but I don’t know what I’d do if I were discharged. I grew up in this place, basically.

I can only imagine what the Outside is like now. And I’m not sure I want to know.

There were some rough times while I was here, as I’m sure you’ve heard. Some scuffles and broken bones, maybe a few fatalities. But it doesn’t matter to me. I’m sick of this place.

And now Caden is beginning to be weird and I just know he’s gonna be gone soon to. Therefore, the cycle begins again.

I’m done. Do with this what you must.’

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Taking a deep breath, I flex my writing hand, rip off the sheets that contain my story, and slap them down on the table in front of Becca. She looks stunned, glancing between me and the papers. It had taken me almost an hour and a half to write it all out.

Maybe because of all the times I paused to wipe tears away. Maybe because of how I would hesitate and just have flashback after flashback. I don’t know.

I stare at her for a few moments, then turn, and walk out.

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Hope you liked it!

I’ve been busy.

Read, review, etc.

-Lexi