Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It...

Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It... Chapter 51

Chapter 51:

            Over the next few weeks, Caden and Becca double up on their efforts to get rid of all of my different phobias. It seems like that’s all I’m doing lately, just working on myself, working on becoming a better person – a normal person. Caden wakes me up late at night to work on my problems with the dark, Becca pushes me into corners and locks me in closest to work on my claustrophobia… And so on. It might not be the safest way to do things, but to everyone’s great surprise, it is working.

            My mental state is gradually getting more and more stable, and finally, we inch closer and closer to the two big things holding me back. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to this at all. As time has been passing, I’ve been faced constantly with the idea that once I’m better, I could actually go live a life, a life of a normal teenage girl.

            “Senna? Come on its time for your session.” A hand enters my view, hovering in front of my face as if to help me up. Raising an eyebrow, I look up at Caden and a slight flush spreads over his cheeks as he withdraws his hand. “Sorry…” He murmurs, as I stand up and run a hand through my hair. I leave the room without waiting for him to catch up, my pen and notebook clutched in my hand.

            “Um, Senna you know what you’re going to have to do eventually, right?” Caden asks, hurrying up next to me and trying to walk and talk at the same time. Mentally sighing, I roll my eyes and speed up my pace. I’m not in the mood to be all friendly with him right now, all buddy-buddy about my problems. I can save that for during and after sessions. It seems like the time before them is the only time I can just be myself, the real me, not the one around other people. Even though Caden is with me nearly 24/7 so I’m not exactly alone.

            “Ah there you two are! I was beginning to wonder when you were going to get here.” A bright smile lights up her face as she comes out from behind her desk, leaning against the edge. I take my usual seat in one of the leather chairs, with Caden next to me. Tucking my feet up under me, I settle in and get ready for another long session. They’ve been getting longer and longer, containing more and more medical jargon and things I don’t exactly understand.

            ‘Yep, we made it.’ I write out and flip my notebook over to show her, and a tiny smile lights up her face again. Then she looks down at the paper in her hand, and then back at me.

            “This week is going to be a really big week for you, Senna. Really big. I hope you understand that.” Her gaze is locked on me and all I can do is shrug, leaning back in my seat. My face is a mask, not portraying anything that might show whether I’m ready for it or not. It takes her a moment, but eventually she begins to speak again, keeping her eyes on the paper this time. “First of all, you still can’t speak. That is going to be a major problem once you’re released from the hospital and let into the real world. And second of all, you won’t allow anyone at all to touch you. Not even Caden…” her voice trails off with a hint of suggestion that leaves me blushing, looking anywhere but at them.

            “This week we’re going to be working on those two problems specifically. We’ve worked you through most of your other things, and the rest is minor, and can be handled with a few prescriptions, just like what you’ve been taking already.  That isn’t a problem. However, before the hospital can sign your papers and let you out, we need to well… fix you.” Becca takes a deep breath and finally looks up at me, a hesitant smile gracing her lips. All I can do in response to all of that is roll my eyes and look away, whereas Caden automatically jumps in to asking how we’re going to do it, etc.

            “I think we should work on touching first!” Caden says, sounding just a little too excited about that one. My face automatically gets hot once more, a shy smile working its way onto my face. I’m sure he doesn’t exactly mean it in that way but still, the thought of him touching me worms its way into my mind and sticks there until I hear Becca agree with him. Then reality just kind of slaps me in the face.