I Don't Date Stupid ✓

3: "I'm Dealing with Good Looking Guys."

I am currently standing in the middle of the airport with my bag over my shoulder and my hands entwined with Joe's. "This is it, I guess," Joe gives me a hug and a soft kiss on my jaw. He's really tentative when he wants to be. I'll miss that part of him.

"This is it," I say, a lot more enthusiastically than Joe did. Today is the day. The day I go back to New York.

"Why are you leaving?" Joe has a full bottom lip sticking out and glassy blue eyes reflecting the artificial yellow light of the airport.

"Because I refuse to stay."

"But I want you to stay."

"I know, Joe. I do. But after everything that's happened do you really expect me to choose here over somewhere else?" This is hard. I will miss him - well - the part of him that he can control. I pick up my bag and head towards check-in when I feel a hand reach out and grab my wrist and it spins me around so I come face to face, well, chest with Joe. What can I say? He's tall. "What?"

"I wasn't myself in those situations. I couldn't control what I did. I regret what I did and I'm sorry. You know that," he pleads, looking deep into my eyes.

"I do know, but feeling guilty and saying sorry doesn't change what happened."

"And I understand that. But if I could change it I would. And, KT." He waits for me to look up at him. "I love you."

"Yeah, I know," I say quietly. How could he love me when he's done such horrible things to me? He slowly lets go of my hand and envelopes me in a warm hug.

"Then you know that I want you to stay." He says the sentence with such sadness in his eyes that I couldn't not turn away and sigh.

"Then you know that I need to go, you know how long I've been waiting for this. You know how much I need this."

"Since the day you got here, I know. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. But this is where we part." I take a deep breath, readying myself for the shit storm that's about to go down.

"I don't understand." He says solemnly.

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" He still looks nervous after my question so I decided to hint to him what I meant, "It's time for us to part ways."

"I'm still confused."

"You never were one for subtlety," I mutter under my breath. "We have to break up," I say loudly, accentuating every syllable.

"No, KT-"

"It's not you and it's not me either, I'm not giving you that clichéd line. It's the distance. I'm not going to go to New York and worry about you fucking other girls while I'm dealing with good looking guys who flirt with me every other second. Because if I am still with you I'll feel guilty for flirting back. So please. Let me go." He shakes his head at me.

I put my bags down and take Joe's face in my hands. "Please Joe." I look into his eyes. "I need this."

"I can't. I love you. I love you too much to let you go." He looks away from me, my hands still resting on his face.

I sigh and turn his face back to me. I look into his eyes then bring his face down to mine, kissing him one last time. He gladly kisses back and snakes his arms around my waist bringing me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck when his tongue enters my mouth. He lets out a small moan as he bites my bottom lip gently.

I then pull back and drag my hands down to his chest and tug the sides of his jacket. "I may have loved you too, Joe. At least some parts of you. But I can't be certain and it doesn't even matter anymore, because I'm going. After what you did, although I know it wasn't your choice, it's a miracle I stayed with you this long."