I Don't Date Stupid ✓

5: "What About Your Dick?"

Lunch the place where people come gossip and eat food. Also, when the teachers go off for a fag and do fuck all because they can't be bothered to tolerate us.

So, Damon and I sit at our usual table on the raised platform of the cafeteria which gives us a perfect view of the rest of Manhattan High's population, but most importantly the door so Damon can rate girls and I tell him how wrong he is and vice versa.

"Ooh, 9," Damon calls out referring to the leggy blonde that burst through the door with a buff football player.

"No way, look at that fake tan; I give her a seven."

"Harsh! 8.5 at least," he says with false hurt in his voice.

"She looks like a goddamn carrot!" I exclaim motioning to her with my hands.

"And you look like a pain in the ass but you don't see me judging," he sulks.

"Well, he looks like a 10," I say as I watch yet another hot jock walk to the lunch queue.

"No, no, no," Damon says, sitting up.

"What can you say that can possibly fault that!"

"Total douche."

"This is based on looks remember?"

"Yeah, but he bases his hook-ups on looks as well."

"I don't mind," I say as I take a long-awaited bite from my cheeseburger.

"I do. No boy in this school is even allowed to touch you," he says matter-of-factly as he eats his sloppy joe.

"And how would you stop the boys pining over this?" I point towards my smug face and gesture to my body.

"Quite simply, actually," Blake says as he joins the table flanked by two familiar faces.

"There is nothing simple about undeniable attraction, uncontrollable lust and unrequited love," I say innocently as I dig into my fries.

"What undeniable attraction, uncontrollable lust and unrequited love?" Jack Dickson asks, "everyone requites my love." Smartass."Hi, Kat."

"But not everyone is an egotistical psycho-maniac who needs to be sent to an asylum," I state as I take some of Roxy's salad. "Hey, Jack." I smile at him. He has had a glow up and a half. He was good looking before and, granted, it's only been a year. But holy damn, that boy has aged like fine wine.

"Yes but no one that Damon wouldn't trust with his life is allowed within a 50-metre radius of you. That and girls obviously," Roxy says, ignoring the fact that I stole her food.

"That's not going to happen," I shrug nonchalantly as I eat more of my burger.

"I've already made sure of it," Damon intervenes.

"And how would that be?"

"Sometime last year Roxy was talking about you coming back so Jack said he'd get with you when you came back as a sort of 'welcome gift' as he so nicely put it. Anyway, Damon then punched him in the face. All eyes were on the pair of rebels so naturally, Jack threw his chilli fries at your brother and so, the great food fight of 2016 ensued. So, legendary though it was, no one wants to relive it, so no one will even think about hooking up with you." I look at the mysterious voice that joined our conversation and was met by two brown eyes staring into my own. Those eyes belonged to a handsome man with a boyish grin stretched across his face that was sat directly in front of me. "Jesse Dexter, pleased to make your acquaintance." So this was him. The infamous Jesse Dexter. We are going to have some fun with this. He has his hand reached across the table expecting me to shake it. I survey him for a few moments more before taking it.