I Don't Date Stupid ✓

6: "I Actually Have Sex."

This whole takedown plan is really tiring me out and I realise that I haven't yet seen my sisters yet because they have both already graduated high school and are now in college. But they're home right now and I'm going to take advantage of that.

Seeing as Cleo goes to Columbia and Skylar goes to NYU, they share an apartment which I am currently on my way to. I arrive at the apartment and open the door because Skylar left it open, knowing her.

I walk in and am bombarded by an amazing scent. Cleo's cooking. "Guys, what the fuck is that smell?" 

"Kat!" I hear two voices chorus. I immediately see Skylar rocket around the corner and before I know it I'm being choked. Skylar has her arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her legs wrapped around my torso.

"Skylar," I manage to get out, "get the fuck off." She jumps down grinning wickedly at me. "Oh my god. Your hair!" I say as I survey her now bleached hair.

"Don't you like it? Cleo thinks it's empowering." She says in a wiseass tone.

"It's not that. I think that..." I struggle to find the words. "I think that you pull off the fuckboy hairstyle better tan fuckboys."

"I love you so fucking much right now!" She slings an arm around my shoulder and drags me to the kitchen where I see Cleo cooking up a storm. "Cleo's making steak."

"That makes me so happy," I mutter as I run over to Cleo who has her auburn locks in a messy updo. I creep up on her from behind and attack her in a hug.

"Kat, you're finally here!" She turns around so she can hug me properly. I swear I've done more hugging in a day than I have in a year.

"I am, me and my multitude of nicknames that is." I smile to her as I look towards the mashed potatoes.

"Supper's almost ready!" She pulls three perfectly grilled steaks off the grill and I swear I'm going to have an orgasm. This is heavenly. Cleo dishes out the steaks, accompanied by mashed potatoes and broccoli.

"Broccoli though?" I ask as I eye the tree-like vegetables that I hate so much.

"Skylar likes it," Cleo hisses to me, "you don't have to eat it, just put a piece on her plate when she's not looking." I glance over at Skylar laying out the table eagerly. Her giddiness for vegetables brings a smile to play on my lips. God, I really did miss these guys.

"Are you sure you didn't want Damon over as well?" I ask Skylar as I walk over to the table with ketchup in hand.

"Well, Damon wouldn't like some of the things we're going to ask you..." Skylar trails off.

"You're going to ask about the California boys aren't you?" Immediately Cleo hurries in from the kitchen and Skylar happily slides into her seat with a wide-set grin that takes over her face.

"Well now that you've brought it up, I don't see why we can't talk about it!" Cleo pipes in. That malicious bitch.

"So tell us," Skylar starts, "did you have a boyfriend in Cali?"

"I suppose you could call him that." I take my plate from Cleo and pick up my fork.

Cleo drops her hands on the table, looks at me with a smile resembling Satan's, "spill."

So I tell them everything that happened with Joe, all the good parts at least. I tend to try and forget the bad parts. Then I got to Tiffany.

"Where did you get 'Stiff Tiff' from though?" Cleo asks. Skylar bursts into a fit of giggles and I look at Cleo in a disapproving manner.

"Still a virgin?" I smile at her innocence and naïvety.

"Still a judgemental bitch?"

"Yes," I grin at her and take a mouthful of mash.