Our Day of Love

22.Our Day of Love

Obligations to Allah first and reading next please:)

Hifza just gave salaam to her fajr's Sunath while she heard weeping in the room. Thinking it as one of Ehsaan's nightmares she rushed to console him.

"I can't do this anymore" Ehsaan wept.

His head was buried in his hands as he was sitting in his bed with conscious. Hifza recently read Edward saying 'I can't do this anymore' to his fiancée Fiona to break their engagement in a book The Mail Order Bride Mishap. Hifza felt her heart drop to her gut. Ruma's face involuntarily popped in her mind.

"What happened?" she asked panic stricken.

"I can't do this Hifza. I just can't. I wait for the calamity to come and strike me but all I feel is Happiness. It feels so wrong to feel happy this way. Guilt is killing me Hifza. I don't know what to do" Ehsaan wept. Hifza dreaded at his worst. All color drained from her face.

"Whatever it is you can say it to me Ehsaan. You know I won't judge you" she said fighting her tears.

"I bloody don't pray Hifza. But Allah is giving me so much happiness. They say marriage is a test. I expected it to be a hardship Hifza since I abandoned praying though I am grateful to Allah. But all I have got from this marriage is happiness, comfort and support" Ehsaan said. Hifza couldn't believe his words. She ran to him and hugged him in glee. Ehsaan wrapped his hands around her and buried his face in her chest as she rocked him in a soothing way.

"The way you mess up, the way you annoy me, the way you just accept people, the way you earn anyone's trust easily everything brings me happiness. My friends always say that the first fight in the marriage will always be a disaster. But yesterday when we fought, I wanted to burst out laughing. You were so cute. You never give a damn and thus never got riled up. But yesterday when you were angry it was like an exploration for me. It was like Subhanallah this is a new face of my wife I never knew about. Everything brings me Happiness Hifza but I am not praying. I can't be like this anymore. But I am afraid I am too deep in this that I don't think I can pray again. Every time I think of praying I am so ashamed. How will I face Allah after abandoning him for so long? Would he even accept me?" Ehsaan wept. Though Ehsaan's words warmed Hifza's heart, his doubts didn't.

"Ehsaan you out of all people must know Allah is merciful and He is ashamed to return his servant empty hand when he raises his hands to ask dua. Yes I don't support you abandoning your prayer. But you can always pick it up. Start over. Don't think about anything. You know like falling back with your eyes closed" Hifza said.

"Yeah I will think about it" Ehsaan said still holding on to her.

"No you will not" Hifza said sternly and got out of his hold.

"Now get up young man and join me for fajr" Hifza said.

"I can't. I am not ready yet" Ehsaan said looking down in shame.

"It's an order. Get your butt up and go do the wudu and come. We will be late otherwise" Hifza stated hotly. She took Ehsaan's hands pulled him up and pushed him inside the toilet.

She laid her prayer mat in breath wise making space for Ehsaan. When Ehsaan came out doing wudu with water dripping, she stared at his hotness. She shook her head clearing her mind. Only then she noticed how pale Ehsaan's face has gone. She couldn't think of a reason why Ehsaan was afraid of praying. But she understood everyone had different perspective on things.

"Do you want to lead the prayer?" Hifza asked.

"No I will pray separately" Ehsaan said.

"Okay" Hifza said.