Engaged [z.m.]

Chapter 44: Limp

C H A P T E R   F O R T Y  -  F O U R

Listen to Daughter's Still

Perrie

The first few days are the hardest then you start attempting to numb out the pain. The days that follow are hard but not as hard as the initial ones. They're easier because the pain starts becoming a part of you, it become routine to feel this way so being human, your mind and body start adapting to it.

They start owning it. They start recognizing it as a part of you, not an emotion thrust onto to you because of a failed relationship.

In the span of 6 days, my appearence has significantly changed and detiorated. My eyes had dark circles from nights spent crying and lying awake. I looked limp and weak, my hair was almost always tied up into a messy ponytail. My choice of clothing was very similar everyday; my selection being not the classiest of clothes as it was. My lips were chapped and my head was almost always hurting.

"Perrie, I'm making coffee. Do you want some?" Jade poked her head into her guest room which I had transformed into my own safehouse temporarily.

I looked up and shook my head. She stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah" I mumbled. I toyed with the edges of my bedsheet as she sat down next to me.

"Do you want to go out? We could get thai?" she offered a request which she had repeated about twenty times in the past six days.

"No, I'm good" I forced a stiff smile.

"But aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten anything since morning"

My temper was increasing my second as she contined to pester my about food. As much as I appreciated her concern, my biggest problem was people who completely refused to understand that I couldn't snap back to being normal this quickly and Jade currently topped that list.

"No, Jade. I don't want anything" I took a deep breath, trying to contain myself.

"But-

"But what?! But what Jade?! You want me to dress up and go out with you and chat with you like nothing's happened. Why don't you understand Jade? It's not that easy. I can't just forget everything in six days" I jolted up and yelled at her. She sat shocked at my confession.

"I'm just trying to help Perrie. I want you to fix yourself and that will not happen when you yourself won't put any effort into it" she stood up herself to protest with me. She kept her tone lower than mine, trying to calm me down.

"Then give me time. Leave me be. There's only so much I can do" I slid down on to the bed, feeling tired already. I felt like every moment physically drained my nowadays and my first thought after any physical movement was to lie down onto my bed again.

Jade bit her lip and nodded. "Okay, don't give up Perrie" she leaned forward to wrap me into a hug. She pulled back a second later and gave me a small smile and left the room.

My head was buzzing with thoughts and all I wanted to do was sleep it off like I had been doing to avoid all my problems for the past few days. I brushed my teeth and slid into bed, switching all the light off.

I could hear the sharp sound of Jade's heels as they clicked against the hardwood floor of her flat. She was constantly moving around, presumably getting ready to go somewhere. She switched most of the lights off herself before I heard the front door slam.