Engaged [z.m.]

Chapter 49: Realization

C H A P T E R F O R T Y N I N E

-49-

Due to my late update, I am presume many of you might have forgotten the plot. If you guys want, I can whip up a quick summary and post that at the start of the next chapter. Please comment below if that's something you guys would like. x 

Perrie

The news of Trisha Malik's illness reached me through a mutual friend of Zayn and I. Despite constant urges from everyone who knew, I did not go visit Zayn. My mind was a constant swirl and mess of thoughts to do with him. I was always occupied with him and this news furthur pulled me under.

I finally landed on a house that suited my needs. It was a two bedroom penthouse. I signed the lease and moved in as soon as possible, undoing all my burdens and problems that I had thrashed upon Jade whilst I had stayed with her.

I eyed myself in the mirror, a habit that I had developed in the recent weeks. A lot had changed in the appearance I had transformed into after Zayn and I ended. My face wasn't hollow and pale. My cheeks had more life in them because I was actually consuming food on regular basis. My eyes weren't swollen because I actually managed to get a goodnight's sleep regularly.

The improvement in my physical state did not exactly correspond with my emotional state. Everything was still miserable. It all hurt. Happiness had somehow drifted from my life the second I had stepped out of Zayn's flat. I was constantly in a stream of anxiety and tension that I was doing a good job at controlling as compared to the previous weeks.

My makeup was done as I slipped into a cut off black dress. My hair was in its natural form. The prospect of having to go to a party and socialize was daunting me as I drove to the venue. Yet I had no option. It was our manager's birthday and she insisted that none of us miss it.

The party ended up being a lot larger than I had anticipated which was dumb of me to think it was going to be small in the first place since our manager was very renowed in the industry. I saw more familiar faces than I had initially thought I would. This night was certainly more surprising than I thought.

Someone pushed a glass of champagne into my hand before I was stirred off into another corner by a group of friends. Half an hour later, the champagne had relaxed my tense muscles and I was laughing to the dumb jokes Jesy was cracking as an entire group of our friends were seated together.

"Guys" I announce "I'm going to go get something stronger. Does anybody want anything?"

After being bombarded with requests of various drinks, half of which I was certain I would forget; I meandered through a thick crowd of people. The place was getting packed by the second. I eventually ended up at the bar and ordered the four drinks including mine which I remembered. I slid onto a bar stool as I waited for the bartender to prep the drinks.

The party seemed so mellow. I had already been here for a little over half an hour and I was yet to spot the host also known as the birthday girl or our manager. It made me considerably happier being knowledgeable of both of these things because I did not like loud parties and I was never in the mood to socialize. The second fact actually strained me, I had never been like this before. I felt ridiculous for letting someone carve and shape my personality and the way I acted without actually even asking for it.

He was everywhere. No matter what I did, he lingered close by. I was constantly in his shadows.

"Ma'am, your drinks" The bartender dragged me out of my hurricane of thoughts that I spent a considerable time drowning in. I nodded and eyed my drinks set in front of me. I realized I couldn't possibly hold five glasses altogether but I was adamant on trying to fit as many as I could into my hands and returning for the remaining.