One More Night

I Was a Fool

I was a fool- Tegan and Sara

So, the other day this girl who I used to be friends with until I realized that she was unhealthy for me was going off super hard on me over my love for ke$ha and I'm honestly fucking bawling now because I miss my friend who moved and am so done with school. I just wanna ask to be put in permanent in-school suspension just so I don't have to deal with my stupid classmates. I really fucking miss my friend who moved and I'm still not ready to graduate and I know the  only friends I'll ever have will live in other countries or out of province so why even bother. You guys are the only things keeping me going right now tbh. Thanks for that.

It was late at night.
The guests had mostly gone home.
And Matthew was still wide awake.
Sure, Gil's arms were comfortable.
Sure, the gentle kisses being peppered on his neck were nice.
But Matthew felt like total shit.
This wasn't the first time he had felt this way after taking a lover. In fact, every time he slept with somebody other than Ivan he had to work hard to convince himself that he wasn't a terrible person.
That he wasn't cheating.
But Gilbert was supposed to be different. He was a good friend and roommate and as long as he let Matthew have the control their sex was great.
So why did he feel like such garbage?
"Matthew?"
"Um...yeah?"
"Vhat are jou zhinking about?"
He couldn't tell Gilbert that. No way in hell.
So he went for the thing he was always thinking about, if even in the back of his mind.
"Jumping in front of a moving vehicle."
Gilbert let out a frustrated sigh. "Matthew, don't talk like zhat. Please."
"Why not?"
Gilbert took a deep breath. "Because I love you."
Shit.
Oh god.
Nonononono.
Fuck.
Merde.
Putain.
Schieße.
Fuckidy fuck fuck.
"Um...okay..." 
"Zhat vas a shitty reaction..."
"Well, that was a shitty thing to say."
"Mattie, don't be like zhat..."
Matthew could hear Gil's heart cracking. He decided to stop. Just this once.
"I'm sorry."
"Isht okay. Let's just get some sleep und talk about zhis in zhe morning."
But Matthew couldn't sleep. Not after what Gilbert had just told him.
He loved Matthew.
But Matthew couldn't love him back. Never.
And he didn't want to string the German along either. He wasn't some rude American.
He listened closely for his partner's breathing to slow to a crawl before he squirmed as subtly as he could from his arms and walk out of the room. After collecting his things from his own room, he tiptoed down the halls to the mansion's entrance.
He escaped into the night without anybody ever suspecting a thing.

Okay. I know. It's short.
But it's POWERFUL.
Doesn't it MOVE you?
Doesn't it make you wanna DO STUFF?!!!
COME ON GUYS!
LETS ROB A FUCKING BANK!!
(For legal reasons I have to state that I have no intention to actually rob a bank. I am not conspiring. This is just a perfectly legal joke. Please don't arrest me.)