Turning Tables (Jikook)

Chapter 37: The Truth part.2

Author's POV:

"Shit... what was that?" Jimin asked to no one when the flashback stopped. He was still holding the red, black, and white box that caused the memories to return. "So that's how head over heels I was for him before, huh?" Jimin laughed, but a small one, since his head was still aching from the last rush of memories. He curiously looked at the box, and after a moment of hesitation, opened it. Small pieces of paper of different colors fell from the box. He hurriedly collected the pieces of paper and began stacking them again inside the box when his eyes fell upon one of the notes.

Jimin stared at the note before realizing that it was actually his own hand writing. He brought the piece of paper closer and read what was written on it.

Fan meeting happened today. We were all nervous and excited at the same time. But what was really memorable today is when Jungkook and I had a bonding time. Tae said he was going to help me with Jungkook. I think his teasing was his way of supporting me. It didn't help that much though...

After reading the paper, Jimin's head started to ache again. Then, another flashback came running in his mind.

"Yes, hyung, I know. That's why we continued being cute, because we knew it will make the fans happy."

"Seeing the fans so happy when we did that, it just filled my heart. It's like an achievement unlocked moment!"

"Look, hyung. Don't be hurt by what you just heard. After all, you still had a moment with him right?"

"No, it's ok Tae. It's my fault if I put my hopes too high. I shouldn't have expected it to be true."

"You'll be alright, hyung. Now, let's go back inside. Sleep will surely cheer you up."

Jimin held his head with one hand and the edge of the table with another. This time, it just wasn't his head that was hurting. He felt it hurt somewhere else – somewhere deeper. He turned the note over and read the smudged writing.

It hurts! It hurts so bad! So everything that happened was just for show, huh? Why? Why does it hurt this bad? It wasn't supposed to hurt like this, you know. Jungkook, of course. He just wants to please the fans. Alright then. I have to sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow, it won't hurt this bad.

As Jimin read the note, he felt his legs go weak, but he didn't notice the tear that started to roll down his cheeks. This time, the hurting feeling was more in his chest, rather than his head.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Of course. It's so fun seeing the fans happy."

"Jungkook, about the cute things we did today... we d-did that f-for the fans, right?"

"Of course. We'll do anything to make the fans happy, right?"

"Yes. Anything for the fans..."

So... is that really how dense Jungkook was? Is that how oblivious he is to others' feelings? Jimin asked himself as he remembered how Jungkook ignored Jimin's reactions towards things. How Jungkook didn't consider what his actions were doing to him. But even if it was starting to hurt so bad in a different way, Jimin didn't stop. He had to know everything... he had to know what happened in the past. Maybe, after that, he will no longer keep looking for the missing piece to his relationship with Jungkook. So with shaky hands, he took another note and read it.

So... that's it? Why do I keep hurting because of him? Why did he not let me speak? Why is he like that? Did he even listen to me when I told him I like being with him? It all happened last night, but the wound in my heart is still fresh. He told me he don't want me to be clingy to him. Does that mean he doesn't want me around him at all? But he also said he felt a bit uncomfortable – does that mean he's feeling awkward with me around him? If that were the case, that means he also likes me, right?