//TRIGGER WARNING// MENTION OF SELF-HARM THROUGHOUT//
*PHIL'S POV*
It's a little awkward at first but after a few episodes of Sherlock and a lot of popcorn, we're soon back to normal. If I'm honest, I've had quite a tough week at school. Matt and the others are at it again, Dan and I have been fighting and we're coming up to finals at school. I heard in China they lock up the top floor so the students don't jump off. I get that.
Me and Dan lie on his couch, one of Dan's hands holding in mine, and the other playing with my hair. I love him so much.
"Dan..."
Yes? He smiles up at me with heart-eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"No Phil-"
"Really I am."
"Phil you don't need to be sorry."
"Well I am. I love you, Dan Howell. I always will."
"I love you too." He says, resting his head on my shoulder.
I wish it could be like this all the time. Less fighting, more 'I love you'. Because I do. I love him. Even though I haven't said it in a while. Even though I say it too much sometimes. Even though I don't need to hear it back because I know he does.
It's just gets hard. Our relationship takes so much effort when really it should be easy. But as much as I want it to be simple but I'd rather spend all my energy making it work with Dan than having an 'easy' relationship with anyone else on this planet.
***
Around 10pm and we're still on the couch watching TV. I am seconds from dozing off right there and then, which Dan soon notices.
"Well... it's getting late." Dan looks at me suggestively.
"It is..." I reply, 'casually'.
"Here's a pillow for the couch." he says chucking a pillow at me and disappearing off into the hallway.
"I'm kidding!" he laughs, taking my hand and dragging me to his bedroom.
A/N: gosh I know don't even say it, I haven't uploaded in so long please don't annihilate me. Also this chapter kinda sucks I'm sorry I'm still getting back on track oops but I'll try and write again soon <3 I'm gonna leave the rest up to grace cause she is holy and defo cannot write smut so I can't wait to see what she does with it :')
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Useless (phanfiction)
Fanfiction"You don't always have to be brave." Phil struggles with self harm, depression and is bullied at school. The only person who knows is Dan Howell. But they aren't exactly 'friends'... God knows he could use a friend right now..... ~concept~ 1-24 ~ 20...
