BANDIT

•18•

Emotionally, I have no picture-book illustrated with memories of my first five years, but externally, I have impressions that possess a haunting vividness comparable only to the texture of dreams, when dreams are tumultuously alive. - E. F. Benson

Hours Later...

Zee...

"Zee!" My mother called angrily. I huffed taking my books out my lap laying them on the couch, traveling to the bathroom where my mother wanted me. I stood in the entrance, furrowing my eyebrows when I noticed she wasn't in there.

"Zee!" She called yet again even more angry. I leaned back, seeing the light shine from my room. I swallowed hard, nervously walking down the hall. Before I could reach my room, my mother stormed out my room causing me to gasp in fright. I witnessed one hand with the pregnancy test box and my belt in the other. Tears blurred my vision when my eyes connected with her dark orbs that her eyelids squinted.

"You pregnant?" She questions slowly walking toward me. I slowly back up, feeling my surroundings behind me.

"Answer me bitch!" I just shook my head no stumbling back, falling down the steps. My whole body throbbed, as tears raced my cheeks. This was the normal for me, pain. Whenever Dimitri wasn't home for my mother to start shit with, I was the target. I stumbled to my feet, only to get pushed into the wall and beat with the belt.

"You so fucking stupid! You not bringing no fucking baby in here! If I have to beat it out you, I will!" She spat after each lash. I ball in tears, clenching onto the wall for stability. I felt my knees getting weak, but I wasn't giving up that easy. I was really tired of this abuse.

The beating kept coming, and I wasn't going out this time. I felt my blood boil, and the pain ceased. I turned to face her, grabbing the belt in mid swing. My mother's eyes widen and for the first time I saw the fear. The fear she caused me since I was able to remember. My fist connected to her jaw, sending her straight to the marble floor.

I sniff, limping over to the belt that descended out her grip when she fell. I furrowed my eyebrows in anger, tears blurring my vision again. My mother wiped the blood off her lip, looking at me in shock. I saw myself laying there, gripping the belt as chills of revenge took over my spine. I looked into my mother's fearful eyes swinging the belt. I wanted her to hurt just like she hurt me. I wanted her to feel my pain.

"Zee! Stop, please!" She pleaded. I dropped the belt, straddling her waist. I strangled her, watching her struggle beneath me. She punched and kicked, struggling to breathe. I watched as her eyebrows furrowed and mouth agape with force but no sound escaped.

"I didn't ask to be here! I DIDN'T ASK TO BE HERE! Why do you keep hurting me!" I repeated in croaked screams, gripping tighter. Noticing her eyes were rolling back, I loosen my grip. I felt arms grab me pulling me off of her. She coughs, holding her throat as she struggled to breathe.

"Zee what did you do!" Dimitri exclaims, pushing me to the floor. I crawl to my feet, running out the door down the block. I ran as far as my little legs could carry me, five blocks to Bricks' house. Breathing heavily, I knocked frantically as the door flew open making me fall in the house. Bricks looked at me in hurt and confusion, as tears filled my eyes.

"What was that?" Mrs. Gomez questioned from the kitchen. I put my finger over Bricks' lips shaking my head no. I felt weak, all the energy I had was just gone. Bricks just nodded picking me up bridal style up the steps. He takes me into the bathroom, sitting me down on the side of the tub that's already filled with hot water and bubbles. He takes off my sneakers and I hiss in pain, shaking my head.