c h a p t e r 30

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That morning, the sun kissed me awake.

The covers felt cold, he wasn't here anymore.

Realisation then dawned on me that he was gone, out of my life for possibly, forever.

It was then that I broke down. Tears rained down my face. I tried to muffle my crying against the pillow so that my family wouldn't hear, but that just made me cry even harder.

I didn't know how long I cried, but when the tears finally stopped, I realised that there was a letter on my bedside table.

***
Cupcakes,

I'm sorry I left without notice. I know that it was selfish of me, but I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to see your tears when I leave. I know from movies that in these kind of scenarios, the guy should ask the girl to forget about him and to move on, but once again, the selfish part of me hopes that you would remember what we once had.

Stay strong, don't fall sick, and take good care of yourself. Remember to dry your hair every night so that you won't catch a cold. Remember to not get too drunk at parties. Remember to stay away from the bunch of  football guys, they won't stop talking about their intentions to bed you.

By the way, that reminds me. The past few days were great. Or should I say, all the time that I spent with you was great. If history were to repeat itself, I would find myself falling for you over and over again.

Anyway, I'm getting way off topic. Remember to chew your food properly so that another guy wouldn't have to pat your back when you choke. Remember to mind your steps, so that you won't fall, especially for another guy (that easily).

I don't have much time left. Believe me when I say I have lots more to write to you about, but I guess this sums everything up–I love you.

Love, J.
***

Tears came streaming down my face once again. My eyes were burning and my chest felt heavy, but I ignored it and cried myself to sleep.

For the next few days to come, I lost my appetite and didn't attend school. My family and friends were all worried about me, but all I could think of was–he was gone.

One day, I re-read Jeremy's letter, and saw a quote that he left for me at the bottom of the page that I missed out on the other time I read it.

'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.'

He knows that I'll be devastated and even when he's not here anymore, he still tries to comfort me.

And just like that, I stopped crying and went on about my daily routine–school and hanging out with my friends.

A few months had passed and one day, I finally found the courage to reply Jeremy's letter.

***
Jeremy,

You leaving, it hurts so much that i feel like dying, and i realised that i fell for you, hard. Though it felt like my heart shattered and no amount of ice cream would make me feel better, but i don't regret everything we had.

If I were to go back in time and choose, it would definitely, still be you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, I loved u then, I love u still, I always have, and always will.

Goodbye Jeremy.

Ps: I know that it'll take me a hella long time before i can finally move on. But believe me when I say I'll try my best. I know that u don't want me in this state, cause somehow I still feel the connection between us, though you're not here by my side anymore.

Love, A.
***

<4 months later>

I tried my best to pull myself together after the day I found the courage to reply to Jeremy's letter. It was kinda working but whenever i see the letters or the hoodie Jeremy left in my room, I cant help but break down. They say time heals everything, but not all wounds can be healed, right?

--------------------

<5 months later>

I know I shouldn't be carrying any hope that maybe, one day, the devil would find a way to come back to me. But somehow i still do. It pains me to no end whenever i realise that he'll never come back, and that i'll never see his handsome face again. It hurts like hell when i realize  that whenever I miss him, I can only look at his pictures. Jess told me that I should delete all of his pictures and put aside all of his stuff but i couldn't do that. I just can't.

--------------------

<6 months later>

I've given up hope. I know that he'll never return again. I'm happy to just keep the memory of him tucked deep within my heart.

The End.

Please dun kill me yet. :o

I was just kidding:p

Stay tuned to the epilogue;)

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