Harry Potter One-Shots

Perfect Potter

  "Potter... Everyone thinks he's so perfect, with his scar and his broomstick," Draco Malfoy muttered for what seemed to Astoria like the 14th time today.

 God. If you listened to Draco's constant tirades about Harry Potter for long enough you wanted to throw yourself from the window of the astronomy tower. Astoria was sitting in the Slytherin Common Room with Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson. Ugh. Astoria hated Pansy with a passion, so much so, that often Astoria found herself contemplating murder.  Astoria was sick of listening to Draco go on and on about Harry Potter, so she stood up, and straightening her robes, headed out of the Slytherin common room. 

 She had an agreement to meet her best friend in the library to work on their potions paper. Katria was a RavenClaw, and one of the smartest people Astoria knew. Sometimes Astoria wished she'd been placed in RavenClaw, she was smart enough. But Astoria had to admit that she was too ambitious to be in RavenClaw. Though Astoria hated the 'PureBloods' are better than everyone' vibe of the Slytherin house.

 Once inside the library, Astoria pushed all thoughts of Draco Malfoy out of her mind, and tried to concentrate on her potions homework. But it wasn't working. Katria picked up on her friends irritation. 

 "Draco?"

"Draco."

"God, is he at it again?"

"Yep. On and on about 'Perfect Potter.'"

 "You know what's hilarious? Draco has this deep seated hatred for Potter, but he never shuts up about him." Astoria said in exasperation. 

 "Maybe you could talk to him?" Katria said, "Draco listens to you. Miraculously."

"That's a super power I save for when the situation is dire." A sudden thought struck Astoria, "Hey, do the house elves still have that store of fire whisky?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've got an idea."

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   An hour later every Slytherin student not taking exams was taking part in a miraculous game. One that Astoria herself had invented. If her parents knew she had invented a drinking game they would skin her alive. The game was that anytime Draco Malfoy said the word "Potter" someone would take a shot of firewhisky.

  Most of the the Slytherin's were in the common room, just listening to Draco. Listening, and waiting, like serpents in the shadow.

 Astoria counted mentally, 'And in 3..2..1-'

 "Ugh, Perfect Potter. Bet all the teachers give 'the chosen one' a free pass."

 Almost in a single motion, every Slytherin in the common room took a shot. This went on for the entire day, every time Draco would say the word 'Potter,' any Slytherin within earshot would take a shot. Astoria was having the time of her life, Draco was beginning to get flustered.

 He had finally figured out that they took a shot every time he said 'Potter', but he didn't seem to be able to help himself. Every time anything went wrong Draco would mutter angrily about how it was all 'Potter's fault,'

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  By 9 o'clock that night, almost everyone in Slytherin house was in the infirmary with alchohol poisoning. Astoria wasn't drunk, she'd chosen to sit back and watch the chaos instead of being a part of it. Right now she was sitting in the infirmary, listening to Madam Pomfrey scold the students. 

  Alecei giggled, "Potter."

 This was followed by the sound of drunk giggling and laughter, as well as the occasional drunken whisper of 'Potter.'

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  The next morning at Breakfast Dumbledore announced the ban put on  all drinking games. Only a few Slytherin's had made it to breakfast. Among them were Draco and Astoria. Astoria was sitting next to Draco, pretending to be as outraged as he was by the game. 

 "However, I must ask, that if you are still suffering the after effects of this game to go and see Madame Pomfrey," Dumbledore finished.

 "All Potter's fault," Draco muttered angrily.

   Simultaneously, Astoria and Professor Snape took a shot.