Grieving.

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Another plus side to my job is my parents are buried here in the old section of this graveyard. Every now and then I'll go down and sit down and talk to them, sounds stupid but I believe that they are still here among the breeze flowing by giving me guidance.

This morning I got up extra early and went to visit my parents, I brought flowers and placed them on their tombs. I sat quietly wondering what they'd like to hear, sometimes I'd tell them what's happening in the world or what my next career choice is but today I wanted to talk about Leigh and Zak.

I laid down between the tombstones and closed my eyes hoping maybe I'd feel them or maybe just picturing us together, that's all I wanted.

"There's this man named Zak, he too has lost a loved one." I turned over to my mums side. "Her name is Leigh, she did of a rare heart condition but despite her illness they made it work."

Now I turned to my fathers side. "He is alone, he is like me."

Again the sun came up and it was time for work, I blew my parents a kiss and headed back the hill.

"Do you normally spend your time in the grass laying on dead people?"

Shit, I'm caught. Awkies.

"Um they're my parents" I blocked the sun to see this person better, they came closer down the hill to me.

"Oh I'm sorry."

I placed my gloves in my pockets and moved closer to them to see them, but once the trees blocked the sun I saw Zak standing in front of me.

"Zak hi" my face lit up, I dusted my pants and smiling  like a teenager in love.

"Tilly right?" He hand his hand out.

I shook his hand and grinned.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Um no sorry I just saw you here talking to yourself and wanted to make sure you're okay. I came by to drop flowers off for Leigh."

"Ah how embarrassing, I probably look like a psycho talking to the dead" I laughed.

"Not necessarily, I talk to the dead all the time."

"I don't mean to pry but have you spoken to Leigh?" And as those words left my mouth a fuse blew inside his head, he shit down completely and I couldn't tell if be was going to yell at me or runaway.

Maybe Tilly you don't ask those personal questions, huh?

"Sorry that was inappro-"

"No it's fine. Yes we've spoken and that's why it's still hard to realise she is gone. She is everywhere and I just can't see her." Short and simple.

"I wish I could talk to my parents and fully know that they're listening, with all this time they've been gone I'm feeling like the connection is decreasing and one day I'll loose them."

Omg Tilly, you're talking too much now!

Zak just looked at me stupidly and I instantly felt stupid for opening up a little.

"Okay then, I got work to do. Um your flowers have been arranged for next week and there with be privacy for you and the others that come." I smiled and took off, I felt like I needed to run to get away from him quick.

For what I remember my parents were amazing, they were so loved up, happy people and just the greatest parents. We used to do many things together every weekend either hiking, road trips or create our own fun at home. They had saved up money to buy a RV and we were going to travel around I couldn't wait so they looked at one RV and took it for a test drive.

I remember being at school and thinking to myself I can't wait to get home and see what they brought but that wasn't going to be my case. Police came to our school and came to pick me up, they brought the school therapist to help break the news. A massive truck swiped my parents off the road and down crashing into mountains of rock ofcourse they died on impact.

I cried for nights after that day sometimes still to this day I cry, I went into an orphaned and was adopted a year later to good people but they weren't my parents.

I was doing my final checks of the ground before calling it a day, a very big emotional day. More people leaving the cemetery crying and some in fits of anger, it's amazing how there's different ways to grieve. What it can do to a person, consume them, change then it a powerful feeling.

"Tilly?" Ah that familiar voice, Zak.

"I'm sorry about your parents, don't ever think you'll loose them. You'll always have them, in your heart and mind."

Maybe this was all too much but I did my best to flaunt a smile and then I slowly walked away from him, maybe it was best we kept our distance as this could easily go the wrong way.

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