Emma
Have you ever felt so utterly and completely empty inside? Where it felt like nothing truly mattered. Like a piano could fall on top of your legs, crushing them and it wouldn't bother you that you might never walk again. All because the pain that resides in your heart numbs everything else you might possibly be feeling, so in the end you kind of just shut down and close yourself off. Your friends are worried and try to help you but you ignore them because just for today you allow yourself to grieve; grieve the loss of your parent, grandparent, best friend, or whomever it was that you lost.
In my case it would be the most important man in my life; my father.
He died lying beside me while I was unconscious after I tried to save him from my own living hell. He was always trying to be my superhero. The sad thing about that is I had always believed that he was and I never got the chance to tell him. And now I no longer have a superhero to help save me from myself.
I spend my time staring up at the ceiling, laying in bed unmoving. A knock on the bedroom door alerts me of a visitor before it cracks open. Anna peeked her head in, her light brown hair falling in her face. She cautiously stepped into the room, a tray with a small breakfast in her hands.
"Hey, Em," she spoke in her phony happy voice. When I didn't respond she let out a soft sigh.
"How are you?" she asked me, her eyes showing concern in their caramel brown depths. Again, I left her question unanswered. "You need to get up. It's after one already. Your dad wouldn't want-"
"You couldn't possibly know what my dad wants," I told her through gritted teeth in a biting tone. Anna sucked her breath in sharply, shock registered across her features. She let out her breath in a huff and set the tray in her hands down on the dresser beside her, striding out of the room.
Good, now she'll finally understand that it's best to just leave me alone. I thought to myself.
When Anna left, she let the door hang open, so for the first time today I got up out of bed to shut it. I sat back down on the bed, cross legged and stared absentmindedly at the dark blue comforter Niall had picked out for this bed. Another knock at the door interrupted my sulking, again, and no more than two minutes later.
"Go away," I said loud enough for whoever it was to hear me.
"Em, this isn't healthy. You need to be with your friends. Don't shut us out, it only makes things worse. Believe me, I would know," Natalie tried to console me through the door.
"I'm perfectly fine. Now go away," I replied in a monotone.
"Okay, I will. I'll be back later to check in on you though," Natalie promised me.
"There's really no need," I mumbled.
I listened to Natalie's faint footsteps as she walked away before I went back to ignoring the world. God, how dare Anna believe that she knows what my dad would want. How could anyone know what he wants? He's lying in a coffin, six feet down in the ground!
I reached behind me and grabbed a hold of the first thing I touched. Without thinking about it, I chucked what ever it was against the wall across the room. Thankfully, it was just a pillow. I reached behind me for another, feeling better after throwing the first. All the anger I had kept inside was surfacing and it felt really good putting it to use, even if it was in a destructive manor.
Standing up from my spot on the bed, I stomped over to my stacks of books on my dresser and shoved them to the floor. A scream of frustration and other pent up emotions emitted from my mouth when I thought I was only going to sob. Streams of tears fell down my cheeks as I continued to throw my things all over the room.
YOU ARE READING
Figuring Out Emma (Harry Styles)
Fanfiction[BOOK TWO] Emma's not one to easily let down her guard, and for good reasons. But when Harry charms his way through her well built walls she can't help but fall in love, even if she doesn't realize it at first. Once she does it takes every ounce of...
