November 12, 1995

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Plopping down in my computer chair, completely out of breath I click the log in button and wait. This weekend has been crazy, running from one event to another and tonight had been no different. I'd gotten stuck at a birthday party thrown by the some of my follow students for one of our favorite professors. It was an interesting evening to say the least, but now I was beyond late for our normal time to chat and after last week I didn't want him to think I was avoiding our conversations. I took a deep breath when I finally saw my friends list and he was still online.

Grumpybluebear: Sorry! Got tied up at a birthday party. How are you?

SixStringGuy: I was really starting to think you were still mad about last week. Glad that's not the case.

Grumpybluebear: no not at all.

SixStringGuy: I'm good. How was the birthday party?

A loud laugh escaped me as I thought about the events of the evening.

Grumpybluebear: good. It was for one of our professors and let's just say I'll never look at her the same again lol.

SixStringGuy: you socialize with your teachers?

Grumpybluebear: sure. It's college, were grad students, at a fairly small school and it's a relatively small political science program so it's not that odd at all. Drunk professors are the best lol.

SixStringGuy: I bet. Now the real question is, are you drunk? Because of you are I have the perfect topic for us ;)

Grumpybluebear: sorry to disappoint, but I'm not drunk at all. And I told you how I feel about discussing that now that your engaged :/

SixStringGuy: oh I wasn't going to talk about that specifically. I wanted to talk about sex in general. What do you say?

Shaking my head with a smile as I read over his words I knew immediately what was up. This poor guy, I don't think he was used to going without even for a few days let alone weeks or the impending months he had to go.

Grumpybluebear: she's still not putting out I take it?

SixStringGuy: No and I'm lonely.

Grumpybluebear: you mean horny? Lol.

SixStringGuy: same thing.

Grumpybluebear: you mean to tell me she's gone from a fully realized sexual relationship with you to nothing. Not anything at all?

SixStringGuy: yes. No fucking. No touching. No licking. No sucking. No kissing. No anything. This week she even moved into one of the guest rooms.

I wouldn't tell him, but this whole thing was beyond suspect to me. For a woman who admitted to cheating and then to appear perfectly fine with cutting all all sexual contact for months, it just didn't sit well. I was reminded of something Jamie had told
Me when we first started talking about Miko, "if he ain't getting it from you he's getting it somewhere else". While it felt like these words fit his current situation, what did I really know.

Grumpybluebear: wow. Moving into another room seems a bit overkill to me.

SixStringGuy: yeah well it's because I almost broke her resolve the other night. I just wanted to fool around a little, you know blow off a little steam. And when I put her hand where I wanted her to touch me she got all pissed.

Grumpybluebear: oh...

My mind filled with the image of a strong hand placing mine where he wanted, no, needed to be touched. That familiar strong hand guiding my movement along his skin ensuring my fingers did just as he wanted to his hot flesh. His hand conforming around mine as we find a steady rhythm that makes his eyes fall closed and neck arch back.

SixStringGuy: imagination got your tongue??

Grumpybluebear: what? No!

SixStringGuy: lol. Tell me what you were thinking about.

Grumpybluebear: nothing.

SixStringGuy: sure you weren't. Ok tell me about your first time.

His words caused a hot blush to instantly come over my face and neck.

Grumpybluebear: no. OMG!

SixStringGuy: ok, I'll tell you about my first time.

Grumpybluebear: I don't want to know about that!

SixStringGuy: sure you do...its human curiosity to want to know things like that.

I didn't respond. I didn't know how to respond. Part of me wanted to hear about it, that was the part of me that was making me squirm in my computer chair.

SixStringGuy: actually never mind, that's a sad story. Let no talk about that.

Grumpybluebear: what makes it sad?

SixStringGuy: most guys first time are sad because it only last a few strokes. I mean, when you've never felt that warm, soft touch, that clench that makes you feel like your being pulled in, it's hard to slow down and take your time. The girls always disappointed and the guys always happy because he just had the best 30 seconds of his life.

Grumpybluebear: so it's supposed to get better than that? Lol.

SixStringGuy: ah sugar, so much better. There sound be passion and discovery. You should both be able to tell each other what you want and how you want it. And his only goal should be to take care of you by any means possible, knowing that as long as he does, you'll take care of him. I swear if you were here I'd bend you over this computer desk and make you scream my name.

Grumpybluebear: hey! That's enough.

My heart was beating hard against the confines of my chest. The image seared into my brain of being bent over and screaming, completely at his mercy, made my throat go dry.

SixStringGuy: sorry Sydney. Didn't mean to get carried away.

Grumpybluebear: sounds like maybe you need to go take care of your business.

SixStringGuy: I'd rather you do it for me.

Grumpybluebear: Jamie...

SixStringGuy: I bet you'd be gentle at first. Your hands timid and cool against my hot skin. Your eyes big and curious as I moved your hand down, wrapping your fingers around me. You'd probably be too shy to start on your own, so I'd have to guide your hand over me for the first few strokes, setting your pace.

Part of me wanted to tell him to shut up, to stop typing and go to bed, but that part wasn't winning. The part of me that was winning was the throbbing between my legs, causing me to squeeze my thighs together the more i read.

SixStringGuy: you'd gain your confidence once my eyes fell closed and you heard me moan your name. Your hand would set its own pace, playing, testing to see what makes me respond better. Faster or slower. Tighter or looser. My hips would start to buck up into your hand as your panties get wetter. Are your panties wet now?

Grumpybluebear: yes

SixStringGuy: good. You'd keep working me, watching my back arch and see me twitch in your hand just before I let go all over your hand and my stomach. You'd be so curious about the white cream covering your fingers you'd bring your hand to your mouth for a taste of me.

My thighs were squeezed together as tight as I could get them trying to alleviate the throbbing. My breathing was shallow and loud. And I realized in this moment he was giving me more of a reaction right now than Miko ever had in person.

SixStringGuy: sorry Sydney. I have to go. Thanks for your help.

And with that he logged off and I was left wondering how much of that had actually occurred while I was reading.

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