The Online Experience

January 28, 1996

He didn't show up online last week and I tried not to be disappointed since he'd warned me that he would be traveling most of the month, but he was supposed to be back by now. I've been sitting here nearly two hours and nothing. I needed him to be back and to get online tonight, I needed to talk to him.  We'd come to a point in this friendships where I relied on him for certain things, for certain conversations, and tonight I needed that. I needed him to listen to me ramble, needed him to pose the questions I wasn't clear headed enough to think of on my own. As though the universe heard me, his screen name suddenly appeared.

SixStringGuy: Hello Sydney! Did you miss me? ;)

Grumpybluebear: Of course I did.  Just like I know you missed me :)

SixStringGuy: you know I did. Sorry About last week. The time difference got me and I completely missed you.

Grumpybluebear: that's ok, where we you at anyways?

SixStringGuy: we were over in Asia. Sort of a working vacation.

Grumpybluebear: oh I see. So basically you were checking out Asian strip clubs, is that it ?

SixStringGuy: oh you know me too well sugar :)

My mind drifted back to our last conversation and everything that was said in that short time we chatted. The tone of that exchange had stayed with me since then, the entire thing leaving a bad taste in my mouth the more I allowed myself to think about it. His words on the screen that night read as though laced with pain and if there had been any possible way to do it, I would have gladly crawled through that screen and wrapped him in a tight embrace until that pain evaporated like a bad dream.

Grumpybluebear: I was worried about you after we talked last Jamie. You didn't sound like yourself at all that night.

SixStringGuy: Oh you don't have to worry about me sugar.  I'm just fine, I promise.

Grumpybluebear: What about you and Mary? How's that going?

SixStringGuy: things are fine. Everything is well on my end of life.

Sighing at his vaguely dismissive answers which were actually making miss his usual "it's complicated" mantra.

Grumpybluebear: what about the wedding?

SixStringGuy: I don't want to talk about all this tonight Sydney, please.

Cocking an eyebrow at his nearly empty words I completely understood, but that didn't mean I was any less worried about that whole situation.

Grumpybluebear: Ok, but remember if you change your mind I'm more than willing to listen anytime.

SixStringGuy: Thanks :) Anyways, what's been up in your life sugar?

Grumpybluebear: well, since you asked, I got my jacket back.

SixStringGuy: Oh did you now? Hand delivered  I suppose? With a request that you put it on after you take everything else off first. You know, so he could see just how it looks on you without being distracted by all those other clothes. ;)

I smiled looking over at the purple box that still sat in the corner of my room.

Grumpybluebear: Yeah no, not even close. :/   A few days after our last conversation a purple box was delivered to my door. My jacket was inside.

The smile on my face was ridiculous looking but I simply couldn't make it go away. My thoughts slipped back to all the questions Alley had asked after the delivery man left. I had taken that opportunity to finally tell her I'd met Prince on my vacation, of course I'd left out details of our meeting, but none the less she was impressed and shocked he had gone to the effort to return my jacket.