Star Wars: I Am a Slave ✓

Chapter 45 - You're Afraid

The vision. The vision was happening all over again. The last part, over and over in her brain. Rey wanted to scream. She tried to move, but she was paralyzed again.

And then Ani was there. "Relax, Rey. Relax. You're sedated. Sedation is never good for the Force-sensitive. It brings the visions. Just relax. Let them wash over you like the wind cresting the Spike."

Rey settled down in her dream state. "Good, you're about to awake. Remain in control. I'm here with you. I won't let him hurt—"

Rey awoke with a start, finding herself strapped onto a chair that was inclined at a 75 degree position. She pulled on the straps with her arms and her legs, availing nothing but a response from the other occupant of the room—the creature in his black robes and mask.

She looked around the room quickly. In a basin of ashes on a small table sat a melted mask, not unlike this man's. Rey knew this mask: this was her grandfather's mask. Ani, why does he have your mask?

"Your memory is coming back, I see," remarked Ani mysteriously.

The creature stood and looked at her carefully, as if he were trying to remember something about her. He must feel the connection, too! Why does it exist? I don't want to have anything to do with this monster! thought Rey. After a few moments of his staring at her, she asked, frightened, "Where am I?"

The man responded almost pleasantly, "You're my guest."

Rey studied him as he told her that her friends had escaped. She looked around the room, trying to figure out a way to break lose and kill this monster. Her thoughts were interrupted with an accusation, "You want to kill me." It was a calm accusation, but an accurate accusation, still.

Rey shot back, "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask." Got him! That hurt. She could feel the uncertainty in him.

He stared at her for a long moment until he reached up and touched two buttons on his mask. The respirator swung upward with a whoosh before he lifted the helmet and placed it on the ground. Rey was confronted with the face of a man, around 30 years old. His black hair flowed in curls around his face. His face was elongated and marked with moles. But his eyes were familiar. Dark in color but familiar in shape. And that bond was there, still.

Rey realized that she had dropped her own hostility as the man removed the mask. She brought it back up, maintaining her resolve.

The man started the questioning again, "Tell me about the droid."

Rey thought quickly and spouted off the technical details of the BB droid. Rey could feel the anger in the man. He wanted to slap her, but he was prevented by something. Ani appeared behind the man and spoke in her head, "He can't hurt you. I won't let him." The man's arm seemed frozen for a moment.

The man continued talking about the droid, which Rey missed, until he said, "You. A scavenger—"

How does he know? thought Rey. Her heart rate increased and sweat broke out on her brow.

"Does it matter, Rey? Relax," instructed Ani.

Rey visibly tensed again as the man leaned in, moving his head next to hers, "You know I can take whatever I want." Rey tensed some more. He was implying more than what had happened so far. She felt so vulnerable, scared— The man placed his hand on her face, and then his mind was in hers. She was violated! She wanted to scream. "You're so lonely . . . so afraid to leave . . ." The alien mind probed again, ripping down the wall she had built. "At night, desperate to sleep . . . you imagine an ocean. I see it—I see the island . . ."

Stop. Get out. Ani, you said he couldn't hurt me! He's hurting me. Stop him! Rey struggled against the restraints, trying to break free.

Ani spoke quietly, "Build your wall, Rey. Build it again. Power it with the Force. It's there inside you. Use it."

Tears streamed down her face, as the man continued, "And Han Solo. You feel like he's the father you never had," taunted the man. He leaned in closer and breathed on her face. Rey frantically tried to rebuild her wall as he continued to break her. "He would've disappointed you," the man remarked.

Han's this creature's father? Ani, they're related?

"Yes, Kylo Ren is Han Solo's son," informed Ani.

But the connection . . . the connection I feel to Han. What is it, then? asked Rey, but Ani refused to answer. Now was not the time.

Rey's anger swelled, anger at Ani's silence, anger at this Kylo Ren touching her, raping her mind. "Get out of my head!" she ordered through clenched teeth.

Ren continued to probe, but was unsuccessful. "I know you've seen the map. It's in there . . . and now you'll give it to me. Don't be afraid. I feel it, too."

He's afraid. He feels our connection, but he's afraid of it. He knows what it is. It's not just the map. He's afraid of something else. Rey took a deep breath. Her peace came flowing back through her. She could see what she had to do, and now she had the power of the Force. Her wall solidified almost before her eyes. Rey announced, "I'm not giving you anything."

Kylo Ren taunted, "We'll see."

He pushed his mind harder against hers, but ran up against the wall. It hurt to hold this wall. All she wanted to do was to let it collapse, but he could not have that map.

Ren slammed one last time against the barrier in her mind, ricocheting back physically. He pushes again, slowly, with the Force, but Rey pushes back. Back and back and back—and then, she is now in his mind.

Rey realized it. This was not a man, but a boy, an insecure, incompetent boy. One whose fear overwhelmed him. One who was conflicted inside. He was being pulled apart by both the light and the dark. There is still light in him! Ani was right. There is hope! Why does he want the dark? Family. He wants his family . . . his grandfather . . . he wants his grandfather to approve of him, because no one else does. He needs the love of my grandfather—Vader—

". . . You . . . you're afraid . . . that you will never be as strong as . . . Darth Vader!" announced Rey, trying to get a distraction.

Kylo Ren withdrew his hand to break the connection as if it were on fire. He staggered back, confused, worried.

Rey looked back at him, glad for the mind probe to be broken, but sad for this man. He was the truly lonely one, the man torn in two, all for the need of a family.

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