Play the Game ✔️

All the Young Dudes - Part Two

That past Tuesday afternoon before Quidditch practice, he  pulled her into a deserted classroom and effectively pinned her against the wall for an intense, albeit short-lived snog...his hands on her hips, fingers curling around the fabric of her white blouse, his tongue engaging in a mock-battle with hers in which he had every intention of letting her win. But then as lust took him over, he felt hot blood quickly pumping through his veins down between his legs. His freehand caressed the small of her back, effectively pulling her toward him at the hip. He cradled her hand that had been flat on his chest and lowered it, halting over the significant hardness in his trousers. "Just so you know, that's yours when you want it," he had whispered into her mouth as his eyes seared into hers. "I will wait for you."

He lowered his free hand toward her mounded flesh and lifted her skirt. As he slipped his fingers inside the back of her panties, tenderly caressing the smooth skin of her bottom, he kissed her gently as he slid his fingers over her silky bare skin to where she thought they had no business being.  He had only wanted to convey that he wanted her more than anything and he was hers for as long as she wanted him...he didn't realize until she finally looked away uneasily that he had only succeeded in frightening her.

Realizing his grand mistake, he backpedaled; he had to make her believe it was just a game, a game that she didn't know the rules to...he would gladly teach her...He released her just as quickly and told her that he had always wanted to do that as he winked his eye at her and allowed her to leave before him; everything about her screamed fear to him...her watery eyes, hugely dilated pupils, rapid breathing, fluttering heartbeat...she had put up such a brave front...she could have literally screamed, he thought, but she didn't...She bolted out of the room, thinking that it was because he wanted to watch her walk away and she didn't know it at the time, but she was only half-right...he wanted her to keep her self-respect intact; she was a proud girl, but not prideful and arrogant. There was a gentleness about her that he found great comfort in. He wanted the other students to leave her alone and he had psychologically prepared himself for the fight of the century to insure that it would be so...He had learned that the reputations of too many girls who had been caught with him took a severe hit by the "bottom feeders" and it never bode well for those girls and he simply didn't want that to happen to her; he cared entirely too much for this girl...and he certainly never meant to frighten her and she left him feeling like he less than zero...he would prove to her that he wasn't...he would make amends some kind of way.

The next few days he kept his distance because of his shame and it only served to anger her. No longer was she afraid, she had become curious...why had he pulled her into the classroom really? Only when she learned that he had taken care of Rommy in her absence, did the frost that had begun to settle on her heart melted almost instantly.

Sirius had carried her up the many staircases knowing that he could have traversed the staircases with his eyes closed. After all, how many times had he carried Remus up these very stairs? When he had whisked her away from the library, she had almost cried out. Instead, she pleaded for with him to tell her where he was taking her.

"To the infirmary," he had said. "You need help, Bobbie."

And when she begged for her dog, he had run out of the infirmary...or had he merely run away? She had been administered the Sleeping Draught and fought sleep long enough to see her mother at her bedside just before she lost consciousness...her memory of it was so foggy that she thought she had imagined it. She realized that in his own way, Sirius Black loved her.

When Liesel awoke to see him at her bedside, his head resting on his arms as his hand cradling hers did she peer around for her mother...her limbs felt like lead and she could only pull her hand free of his and she managed to combed the hair from his face with her fingers...She had forgiven him on the staircases. She realized that he really didn't know any better; that he was the product of his upbringing, the elder son of dreadful people...It was easy to see that he only wanted to be loved...she supposed that she had always known that.

In Sirius' world however, love always seemed to equal some manner of pain. Sirius didn't like pain. He didn't particularly like dishing it out (unless he thought it was deserved) and he certainly didn't like being on the receiving end of it. And so, he chose to relish in the physical pleasures of love and kept everyone at arm's length. Except this one. What was so special about her? Yes, she was pretty, and intelligent and smart, and caring, funny and sarcastic and best of all, she could keep up with him...not many could.

Sirius had taken Liesel to find help and she would do the same for him. She would help him and she instantly realized that it wouldn't be as simple as a kiss, or an embrace or even a secret rendezvous; it was going to take far more than that...She'd have to muster the courage to teach him how to love someone properly and if, in the event that they didn't grow old together, she could still look back and remember her first love and how mad and funny and charming and playful and talented and brave he was, just to give her a chance to win his heart...and she suddenly remembered something her mother had said to her once when her parents had engaged in a particularly nasty disagreement as to why she was crying..."because Darling, sometimes when you feel love so deeply, your heart is left open wide. Sometimes, hurt finds it's way in."

"Why does it hurt?"

"Because you love so deeply."

"I'm never going to fall in love," Liesel had said.

"Oh, I hope you do! I pray for it! I hope he's as beautiful and as caring and funny and talented as you are," she said as she embraced her child. "He's going to need to be all those things and then some if he's going to be able to keep up with you!"