Never Be The Same {H.S}

chapter 18

"Hey, girly." Aria walked into my room and I offered a small smile, running the straightener through my hair.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, keeping my eyes on my hair in the mirror and Aria plopped down on the edge of my bed.

"Not much. You ready for this party?" I nodded and laughed a little at how excited she was.

Aria talked about her Christmas while I figured out what to wear and I went into the bathroom to change. I tried to avoid looking at my bare body in the mirror, not wanting to bring myself down. The ugly red lines littered my wrists and I wanted to hit myself for doing it again. Ever since Christmas Eve, I've hurt myself four more times. I was so ashamed of myself, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I felt like I deserved it.

I pulled on the black jeans and buckled my belt, slipping a grey sweater over my head. I made sure my wrists were covered and left the bathroom, going to put my shoes on. I laced up my combat boots and grabbed a jacket, following Aria out to her car. We drove in a comfortable silence towards Louis's house and I tapped my nails on my thighs to the beat of whatever was on the radio, watching out the window.

We finally got there and parked, going inside without even knocking on the door. His family was on vacation and he said he had to stay home because of homework just to have the party. Harry smiled and walked over to me, pulling me into a side hug. I forced a smile and we all got drinks, heading to the living room. I sat in the love seat, practically halfway on top of Harry and everyone made casual conversation.

I tried really hard to act excited and pretend that everything was fine, but it was hard. I sipped on my Smirnoff and checked my phone to see that it was already eleven o'clock. I leaned back on the love seat and Harry put an arm around my waist, tugging me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and set my bottle on the coffee table, taking a deep breath. Right now, I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed.

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"Happy New Year!" We all yelled as the clock turned to midnight and Harry ducked his head, pressing his lips to mine.

I smiled into the kiss and pulled away, not wanting to get caught up with everybody around. Liam and Aria seemed to not care because they were practically making out on the couch. I lightly laughed at them and Harry rolled his eyes, putting an arm around my shoulders. Harry and I quickly ducked out of the living room, going out to Louis's backyard.

"I love you." Harry nudged my shoulder as we walked and I smiled a little.

"I love you, too."

Harry suddenly pulled me to the side and backed me up against a tree, trapping me in between his body and the bark. I smiled a little and he leaned down, kissing me again. I closed my eyes and he cupped my cheeks, slowly moving his lips against mine. I held onto his torso and after a minute he moved down to grip my thighs. Harry lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing me up against the tree. I held onto his shoulders and as soon as Harry slipped his hands up my shirt, I pulled away.

"Sorry." I breathed out and he laughed a little.

"You good?" Harry asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and I nodded.

"Yeah, just not feeling well." I lied and he nodded, setting me down.

Harry interlocked our fingers as we walked back inside and we decided to head back since it was beginning to snow harder. I climbed into the passenger seat of Harry's car and leaned my head back on the leather, taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes and Harry grabbed my hand, making me look over at him. He finally pulled up to his house and we went inside since his mum was out with friends.