Sad Angst Lapidot (Literally that's what the request asked for)

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Idea from @Nachosarelife and CreamPuffAkira23 


I'm literally so proud of this pls vote i love you and this chapter.

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"Lapis are you alriiiigggght?!?" Peridot shrieked for what felt like the millionth time that night, and for what felt like the millionth time that night, there was no reply. Peridot fiddled with her bowtie, worried. Lapis was all the way on top of the barn, and Peridot didn't like getting that high up in the air, especially if she wasn't a hundred percent sure that Lapis wouldn't save her.

She knew what made Lapis act like this. The one that Peridot didn't mention in front of her, Jasper. Peridot wasn't really sure what Lapis did when she was fused with Jasper, and she didn't really want to push Lapis into telling her. The few snippets of information that she knew was from Lapis's panic attacks and nightmares. There was close to nothing that Lapis told her with her consent or while she was in the right side of her mind.

Peridot warily climbed up the ladder that she had installed on the side of the barn for this very occasion, which had happened more than once. Lapis was sitting on the top of the barn, looking up at the sky. She wasn't looking at the stars, Peridot knew, She was looking at Homeworld. She had nightmares about there, too.

"Lapis, are you alright?" Peridot asked, sitting down next to her taller friend. Lapis refused to look down from the stars.

"Peridot, if I was alright, I wouldn't be on the roof. And I would've answered you the first eighty times you asked." Lapis said, she voice drained of everything, energy, confidence, and emotion. But it sparked hope it Peridot. She had made a sarcastic remark, which was one of her good signs.

"It was more of a rhetorical question. To make you feel better." Peridot said. Lapis nodded. Peridot sighed, and looked up at the stars. There were no clouds, and each star glittered beautifully up in the night sky. But Peridot knew that Lapis thought that they were like ice in the sky.

"The stars are beautiful tonight." Peridot said. Lapis nodded, but never let her eyes go off of the Homeworld galaxy.

"Yup." And there it was. Denial. Peridot was always wondering if that a good sign, or a bad one. When she was feeling good, Lapis tended to deny things, and when she was in a bad mood, she denied things.

"Did you think of her again?" Peridot asked, not looking at Lapis. It was another rhetorical question, one that usually prompted Lapis to talk about what was bothering her, emotionally and mentally.

"I don't know why I'm like this. That was so long ago, like when Camp Pining Hearts was in Season Two, but I still remember it. It was so...dark... And I'm not fused with Jasper anymore, so why am I so AFRAID?" Lapis shouted the last word, and it echoed back.

AFRAID?

Afraid?

afraid?

Peridot didn't really know how long ago Lapis was fused, but she did know that Camp Pining Hearts's Season Two was a long time ago.  

"Lapis...There's nothing that you can do about...that. It could've been a long time ago, but it can still hurt, like when Percy refused to go to the camp dance with Pierre. That was in Season 3, and it still hurts, doesn't it?" Peridot asked. Lapis only nodded quietly.

"It's the same thing. Pain doesn't go away. It kinda...You kinda...Learn to live with it. Build around it. It heals on its own, Lapis. Stuff like that...doesn't heal fast." Peridot said. Lapis nodded again. She scooted closer, and placed her head on Peridot's shoulder. She was sleeping.

The stars looked beautiful.

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