Arranged Love...

House Hunting

It’s been two weeks since I moved back in with my parents and the last time I talked to Noah, I went last week to pick up all my stuff and Sofi didn’t pass up the chance to let me know what she thought about me doing this. I wasn’t doing this to get attention or to get him to come after me like she accused I was just tired of everything and obviously I had made the right decision if he was still in New York taking care of Melissa like Sofi had informed me. 

Earlier this week I decided to find my own place, I talked to my parents and they agreed it was for the best to have my own place so I could get settled in and have a place of my own by the time the baby got here. 

“Ellie! You ready?” Mom called from the bottom of the stairs 

“Be down in a minute!” I replied bending down to tie my shoes 

I was dressed in some ripped front skinny jeans with a black batman print fitted long sleeve shirt and a black beanie and converse and you could just make out a bump if you looked close enough. 

“Here, I packed you some  stuff to snack on, I’m not sure how long this is going to take.” He handed me a sandwich bag with various types of fruit and a bottle of water 

We were on our way to meet up with my parents realtor to look at some houses he thought I might like, I had originally planned on just moving into an apartment since it would just be me and the baby but mom and dad wouldn’t hear of that arguing that I should find a permanent home for us that the baby could grow up in instead of moving around once we grew out of the apartment, so here we are on our way to look at houses. 

“Thanks” I smiled taking them from her and following her out to her car 

“Have you heard from Noah?” Mom asked once we were on the road 

The first house was only a few minutes from my parents house which I loved since I’m probably going to need them around a lot when I first bring the baby home. 

“No, I haven’t.” 

I’ve come to realize that the only reason mom agreed to what I wanted was because she genuinely thought I would change my mind when I woke up the next morning, now that she’s seen that I haven’t she’s been trying to figure out what exactly happened to make me make such a drastic decision. 

“Maybe you should call him.” She glance at me from the corner of her eye trying to gauge my reaction 

“No.” I shook my head turning to look out my window

“Ellie, what happened?” She let out a sigh 

“Mom not now, please.” I begged turning to look at her 

“Then when? Every time I try to get anything out of you, you come up with some excuse to leave the room.” 

I noticed we were few houses away from the house we were going to and I knew if I didn’t give her some kind of answer now I would get grilled every chance she got since we would be alone on the drive to each of the houses. 

“Honestly mom…” I hesitated trying to find a good way to explain

“I love Noah but I’ve always kind of wondered if we were really ever meant to be together, I mean if the whole arrangement hadn’t have happened would we have ever met and given it a go on our own terms. I also always question weather Noah really was in love with me or if he was settling for me so his parents wouldn’t write him off. When we first met he had only agreed to any of this because he wanted the money, is that why he stayed with me and just gave me the whole illusion of it being real so I wouldn’t fight it anymore? I didn’t want to have to question our relationship for the rest of our lives, I couldn’t live like that.”  I explained letting my head rest on the window