49 ~Too Late

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Feroze's POV

It has been a while since I had a chance to sleep peacefully. The softer my pillow gets the more restless I am. The happier Maya gets, the guilt in me rises. The peaceful life of my daughters creates an incomprehensible fear inside me. A feeling of uncertainty, guilt, and fear combines altogether and hits me hard every single night. God is so merciful on his people, he never lets anything wrong happen to them. He makes sure that all his people are being treated equally. Moreover, there is always an element of punishment for those who have done wrong. I know, I have done so much wrong in my life that I can foreshadow the immense pain that my family would have to face in the future. I had initially lied to Maya, before our wedding, about my parents. I broke her trust, then regained it, and then broke it again. Only this time, she doesn't know. I married Aisha, without the permission or informing maya which is unacceptable in my religion. On the other hand, I left Aisha in such a crucial state. She was going to be the mother of my child and i dumped her. I had failed miserly as a husband. In addition to that, I did not succeed as a good and protective father either. My son was born and I did not even go to see him.   I never bothered to ask how he was. This does not mean that I was good to my daughters. They are the only ones left who have not been exposed to my cruelty, but I fear that my actions might harm them in the future. I have messed up my life and the life of the people around me. The truth is never kept hidden. Everything will unfold very soon. I am planning on visiting Aisha soon.  I have made a promise to myself that I need to fix things before it is too late. However, the irony is that in taking this step towards good I will take a step towards bad too, once again lie to Maya about my trip to visiting my son and wife. The more good I want to do, the more the evil follows me. All it takes is one lie to start a chain of unstoppable ones. I wish i hadn't started it in the first place.

"Assalam o alaikum sweetheart! My lovley wifey...The queen of this house and the mother of my princesses..." I said as I entered the kitchen where Maya was busy making breakfast for our cute little family.

In the process of doing so, she makes our house like a heaven on earth and I am always on the verge of starting a fire in it...

"Walaikumasalam my handsome husband...what are you up to, such sweet comments are pretty unusual?" She replied.

"Oh, so you are taunting me in not complementing you enough? I see..." I said making a sad face.

"What's the point of taunting? Who want's compliments by asking for them? not me...." she said and walked into the dining room, placing the breakfast plates on the table.

There was an awkward silence between us.

After the twins, our conversations starting ending up in awkward silences. It was hard to tell if Maya was actually happy with me or not. If she was living with me for the sake of our daughters? I never had time for her, or maybe I did but the courage to talk to her, to love her, was draining out because every time I loved her, complemented her, I felt like I was cheating on her, I know that she is living a life that is build upon a lie. My only fear is, what happens is she comes to know? Will our family fall apart? Or is she going to save it for the sake of our daughters?

I recall that I saved the number of one of a good old friend of mine, ayan, in some diary. I should contact him. It has been ages since I heard from him, he was there with me from the very beginning when I first met Maya, perhaps he can offer some help, but first I will go meet Aisha. I have crossed my limits and enough is enough.

"Maya, honey, I need to go to Pakistan for some financial issues regarding a business launch." I called out to her.

She was upstairs and came down half way and stopped.

she looked at me for 5 seconds straight...

"Hmm, do you need me to pack anything?" she asked

"no" I replied

"When Are you leaving?" she further questioned.

"Now.." I said.

She stared at me for a brief moment and left.

No good byes. No hugs. No Nothing. This is our life, and  I am entirely responsible for it.





I arrived in Pakistan, at first I had no clue where she lived. She moved out and started living on her own. Finally, I got hold of some of her friends and managed to find her apartment. It was an old building, poorly maintained. I can't even imagine that she was living here with a child. Anyhow, I got to her apartment door and rang the bell a couple of times. I was excited to see my son. I am willing to give her and my son all the love and attention that they deserve. I am here to ask for forgiveness and to cry in her arms. I have decide that I am going to pay her for all the harm I have caused her. No one answered the door, and I did not hear any child's noise. You know, the noise they make when the doorbell rings...

I knocked on the door of the neighbor. A lady in her forties appeared and asked me if she can offer me any help.

"I haven't seen you around here before....what do you want?" she asked.

"Umm, do you know where miss Aisha is? I think she isn't home" I said.

she sighed as a tear streamed down her cheeks.

"she will never be found in this apartment, ever...We found her body in the apartment last week...She has returned to her creator. Make Dua for her. she was a very lovely and beautiful lady. Her son was very graceful. We had to break open the door of her apartment because of the odor coming from the dead body. The community in this apartment does not know anything about her background or her relatives. No one ever came to visit her. More surprisingly, her son was not in her apartment room either....And sadly, we haven't heard anything about him...." she said, completely in tears.

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