Chapter 35: No Goodbyes, No Returns

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AJanae's POV:

I flip through the pages filled with not only images, but memories. I’m not just passing through paper, I’m passing through pages of my life, pages that not only define me but define how far I’ve come and how far I’m willing to still go.

“AJanae put that away already.” Gran says as she takes a seat beside me on the lounge sofa and eyes the album in my hand. A book filled with my family, friends, loved ones, life…a book filled with me.

I snuggle deeper into my blue fuzzy blanket, craving its warmth as the rain continues to patter down above us and the weather remains constant in its incessant raining for what feels like eternity when the reality is that it’s only been a couple of days. “There’s nothing else to do.” I say, turning in my position to face my gran as I reminisce in what was and what will never be again.

Gran gives me her sorrowful look before gently closing the album shut, “Don’t reopen wounds that are likely to never heal.”

My thumb stays in place inside the book keeping the page I was on safely intact as I flick the album back open despite Gran’s disappointed gaze, “Then don’t pretend like she never existed…like she never died and left us.”

Gran sighs and presses her lips together as her thumb fondles the image on the current page in the album within my hands. I, myself, gently caress the picture, wishing for her to come back but I know better…there’s no hope in lies. If anyone has come to learn that, it’s me. “She never chose to leave us AJanae. I hope you know that.”

I nod, “I do. I just wish….” I falter in my words not knowing where I was even going with any of it, “It doesn’t matter. Can’t wish upon a star that doesn’t shine, right?” I shrug and feign a smile as I stand up and place my blanket over my gran and hand her the album, “There’s nothing wrong in missing her. I sure hope you know that.”

I take a step back as I grab my white fluffy scarf off the hanger as I prepare to exit the house, “Where are you going?” Gran asks in bewilderment, shocked that I was just upping and leaving her when we were just having a moment.

I shrug, “Out.”

“In this cold? You’ll get sick.” She insists and she’s probably right but as mentioned before…it takes a lot to change my mind once it’s already been made.

I grin at her concern, “It’s a risk I’m willing to take, besides there are things I have to do.”

I am taken aback when my gran doesn’t smile in return, but instead her blue eyes darken and a grim frown embraces her lips. “I actually came out my bedroom because I needed to talk to you about something of importance.”

My smile falls, “Can’t it wait?” She shakes her head and as soon as she does I am already sitting back down in my seat and snuggling under the blanket beside her, urging her to proceed in the news.

“I just got a phone call. I thought it would be better to inform you now than later. It’s about that incident that happened a month and a half ago. It’s bad news.” She says slowly and I will her on to finish, “The man known as Devon…he’s just escaped.”

Her words ring in my ears but I don’t have time to contemplate it because I’ve already shot out my seat in shock as I head out the front door without so much as a reply.

I walk at a quick pace despite the rain gnawing and pounding down, freezing my insides and in spite of my gran’s callings I keep moving whilst shoving my hood over my head to shelter me from the cold air and fresh water.

I shouldn’t be shocked really….a part of me was expecting the news yet I just refused to acknowledge it. I wanted to believe that it was going to get better, but it was naïve of me because deep down I know that it’s not even the beginning yet.

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