CHAPTER 12:DAIMAKN'S POV

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i had tried my hardest to resist the urge to taste her lips.i was lying there trying to get her out of my mind.she needed someone.   with all that was happening.i wanted to be that someone.i had completely abandoned the task at hand.i wasnt supposed to.i felt ashamed of my lack of self discipline.the woodlands people were a sight to  behold.they had a gracious community.it reminded me so much of why i took this journey in the first place.

i tightened my jaw and tried to erase her image from my mind.this wasnt serious.it couldn't be.i wasnt allowed to be emotionally triggered by anything.there were harsh consequences and i knew it.then a knock interrupted my thoughts.it was her.i felt myself panic a little.i sat up.then laid back down wondering what to do with myself.act normal ,i thought.i didn't really have a 'normal' so that was asking too much of myself.shit just... just don't think about her.i told myself i cleared my throat quietly  rearranging my thoughts at once.i was back to being all good. i think. i asked her to come in.she walked in and leaned on the door while closing it.i tried my hardest not to look at her so i stared at the ceiling.she was just checking up on me.atleast thats what it felt like.okay that's what she said.she was just here to check on me.whether i was good for the night.her voice plaid in my mind .i was trying to imagine the look on her face .since i wouldn't let myself look at her.i wasnt good for the night .not with her in my mind like this but i didn't want her to worry about me so i diverted the attention back to her.

clearly, she was not okay from her quivering voice  i had to sit up and scrutinize her expression.i didn't want to see her like that.she was on the brink of tearing so i walked over to comfort her.on the verge of losing a parent.i knew first hand how terrifying that could be. i held her hands carefully.not trying to send the wrong message .i was only being there for her.nothing suggested that i wanted her.this was just a warning we had to deliver to the keeper .matter of fact i could take it from there.oh wait i didn't know where to find the keeper of the woodlands so that meant we were stuck with each other for another day and i did not want to make it weird.

i saw her staring at my lips talking about how i didn't ask to be a part of all that was going on with her family.it hurt that i couldnt tell her it didn't matter.i was glad to be of service to her in any way.i could be her shoulder in this time of her life.instead of getting all emo i tried to joke it off.then i was staring at hers.her lips and i couldnt help it.the words i was going to say next disappeared.all my energy went to focusing on not kissing her.then my mind blanked out.it shook me to my core.i thought this is just lust.i shouldn't.

she's sad and she just needs a shoulder to lean on.she was hot ,beautiful .she was everything. a little creepy in a funny way. i didn't mind.i licked my lips and took a step back.still holding her hand."if u need someone i'm here for you ."i pulled her to my bed.she was hesitant"it's ok.we can have meaningless sex after we've seen the keeper tomorrow.?" i had a way with making awkward situations worse until it no longer bothered anyone.she laughed and made that angry face she makes when i say something stupid.

i held her in my arms till morning.i cant tell you about my dream that night though.it was completely stupid.i had to get rid of that urge.this would compromise everything.there was a lot more at stake for me ,my new fate.

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