Chapter 40 ~ Forgiveness and Love

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We all scattered, promising we'd all spend time with each other. Matthew headed to work. Dante and Alexandra headed home. Both couples now. You could see the love and compassion they all share from a mile away. Christian was coming with me and Leo to my dad's house.

"I don't know why we're even going there", I say to both of them.

"You'll see. It'll be good closure as well", says Christian.

"I don't need closure", I say.

"Well if all fails I have vodka at my house", smiles Leo.

"I have no father and mother, Amy was both", I sulk.

"It still haunts you, Josh. In order to look ahead you have to look back on those days and face then, only then can they truly be gone", says Leo.

As Christian gave Leo directions to my house I sit there thinking of how bad this will be when I arrive there but I have to keep calm. If I don't show both of them I'm okay then they won't let it go.

We all arrive at my house with different expectations of how it'll go down.

Christian expected me to forgive my father.

Leo expected me to move on and face my past head-on.

I expected my dad to piss me off and I leave in a rage.

Who knew there would be the 4th option.

I knock on the door but no one answered. I opened it as we all walk in, the house seemed so quiet. It was the first time I've ever heard this house so quiet. My mom often yelling and my dad often drunk and breaking things. The house reeked of booze.

"I thought you said he stopped drinking?", I say to Christian.

"Yeah he's been sober for almost a year now, he's not supposed to be drinking", Christian says with a worried look on his face.

We all walked into the living room as we hear the sound of the tv getting louder, there was my dad laying on the couch watching a home video. It was my parent's wedding. I've never seen this before.

"Mr. Trainor. Wake up. It's me Dr. Collins", he says.

"Cindy! Is that you?", he yells and immediately gets up.

"No, Mr. Trainor. It's Dr. Collins", says Christian.

"No, you bring my Cindy back to me! Where did you take her!", he yells.

"You're not supposed to be drinking! Josh will be home from school any minute now", says Christian.

"No. Cindy hasn't made dinner yet.", says my father.

"It's only 2 pm Mr. Trainor", says Christian.

"Where's my son? Josh! Come! Josh my boy! Where are you? Don't leave me alone", he cries.

"Josh is here Mr. Trainor", says Christian.

"No, he's not! He's at school. Who are these men, are you here to take me away again?", cries, my father.

"Josh... Your father is suffering from Alzheimer's. He keeps reliving the past.", Christian says.

I then walk up to him.

"Josh!!! My little boy!!", he cries as he runs up to me and hugs me.

"Father", I reply as my voice breaks.

"Why'd you run away from home again! I've been so worried. Your mother will be so mad when she comes home later", he says.

"Mom isn't coming home today", I say.

"Josh no", says Christian.

"Mom will be home in the morning. Get some rest and greet her", I assure him.

Christian then pulls me aside.

"Josh. 3 things I need from you. Your mom's still in the morgue. The only immediate family she has are you and your father. Your dad isn't in the right state of mind to make any decisions at the moment, I know you don't want to but you have to make a decision on what to do with her", Christian begs.

"What do you suggest?", I ask.

"I suggest you cremate her and spread her ashes somewhere", he says.

"The other thing is your dad. You're the only family they both have. I need your signature to get your dad in a nursing home. He can't stay here by himself in that condition. It will only get worse.", Christian says.

"What do we name our first child?", says my mother as I heard that dialogue coming from the tv.

It was my parent's wedding day that my dad was watching.

"How about Josh?", says my father.

"That's a beautiful name for a beautiful baby. Even though I'm only 3 months pregnant dear", my mother smiles.

"Josh. Are you okay? I know this is a lot to take in", says Christian.

Leo then held my hand and looked at me dead in the eye.

"Yeah I'm okay", I say while gripping Leo's hand tighter.

"Josh ... There's one more thing...", says Christian.

"Daddy! Daddy! There's someone in the house!", a little voice yells.

I turn around to see a little boy hiding behind the wall staring at us, he looked around 6 or 7. He had a scared look in his eyes and his clothes were worn out.

"Josh meets your younger brother Mark", says Christian as my eyes widen.

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