Through His Eyes

Chapter Twenty Four

To say my world fell apart would be an understatement. Everything that I thought I knew about my family, about my parents, was wrong. I could faintly hear the sound of Cam calling my name but I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don't respond. How could my dad give away a child? Brad and I are around the same age, there is no way they both had Brad, his face structure is different than my own. Brad is only slightly older than me, my dad must have got some woman pregnant the same time he got my mom pregnant. Oh god, does my mom know?! As my mind races with questions and endless possibilities of why my father betrayed our family. Why wouldn't he tell me about this?
"Take me home...please." I whisper desperately, only for a second deterring my mind from the endless amount of questions flying through it. Cam grabs my hand, pulling me towards his car. His gentle touch was the only thing keeping me from completely breaking down. The car ride to my house felt as if it went by in slow motion, each passing moment, the feeling of betrayal and hurt dug deeper and deeper into my stomach. Once we arrive at my house the pit in my stomach worsened. Cam's hand covers my own, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Is there anything that I can do for you? Do you want me to stay?" Cam whispers. I run my hand through my hair in frustration, what do I want? I definitely don't want him to leave but I can't bring him into my family drama. I shake my head.
"No, thank you, I need to talk to my parents." I say, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Thanks Cammy." I open the car door and walk towards my house. I hesitate as my hand grasps the door knob. I take a deep breath and open the door. My parents had the day off today, one of their rare days off together. They had a date night planned tonight but nothing planned for the day. I twist the doorknob and open the entrance to my house. I have some many questions but am I really ready for the answers? Will my questions tear our family apart? What if my mom didn't know about my dad fathering another child? The answers that could possibly cause me to doubt either one or both of my parents. I needed to know, I can no longer live in the dark any longer. I walk into the living room to find my dad and mom sitting on the couch watching one of those cooking shows. As I look at them I start to tear up, how could he do this to me? How could he lie and keep something as important as a sibling from me? Tears rush down my face as I hold back a sob. My mother looks up at me and her smile instantly disappears as she takes one look at my tear streaked face.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Mom asks, standing up from the couch. My dad tears his eyes off the television to look at me. I open my mouth, only to find that no words come out. I hate the thought that my own father would lie to me about something this important. The thought itself tears me up inside. Mom stands in front of me and reaches out her hand, attempting to sooth me. I take a step back, afraid that I will melt into her embrace and forget everything. Oh god how I wish it isn't true. How I wish that they never kept anything from me. My mom's frown stabs at my heart. I look between my mom and my dad.
"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me that it's all a lie." I whisper desperately. Dad stands up and walks towards us, taking a place next to Mom. A look of confusion masks their faces.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you in school? Did something happen with Cam?" Dad asks, frowning. I shake my head as another tears slips down my cheek.
"How could you not tell me that I have a brother?" I ask, wiping my tears away. My mom gasps and covers her mouth in shock, confirming that she did in fact know about my half brother. I look over at my dad to see the expression of shock on his face.
"Brad Williams, does the name ring a bell Dad?!" My sadness and hurt mixed with anger. Anger that they have lied to me for my entire life. My dad takes a step towards me and I quickly take a step back.
"What happened? Did you forget to tell me that the guy who has been bullying me for my entire high school experience is the love child of some affair you had!" I exclaim to my dad. I can't believe that they lied to me, that my dad abandoned his child.
"Sweetie, you have to understand-" My dad takes another step towards me but I cut him off with a dry laugh.
"Understand?! You abandoned your child, you chose to raise me instead of him, how could you do that? The dad I know is one who is kind, caring, who would do anything for his family, yet you easily abandoned a child of your own blood." I say, angry tears rushing down my face, the taste of betrayal on my tongue. The pain swirling inside me felt as if a knife was shoved into my abdomen. I lived the good life, two loving parents, while Brad lived without a father. No matter how rich Brad is he still got the short end of the stick. He grew up to be bitter and lonely, suddenly everything Brad has done since freshmen year has made sense. He hates me because my dad chose me instead of him. No wonder he hates me so much, he resents me for having the perfect family while he was cast aside. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't been raised by both of my parents.
"Please just let me explain." Dad says, gesturing for me to sit down. I shake my head.
"I'll stand." I say. My mom sits on the couch reluctantly, a look of sadness and pain expressed on her face. My dad sighs and takes my mothers hand. I suck in a shaky breath, scared about what he is about to tell me. Somehow I know that nothing is ever going to be the same, no matter how much time passes I am still going to have a brother and my father still had cheated on my mother.
"We never told you this because we didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to hurt you." My dad takes a deep breath, looking over at my mother and back at me.
"Your mother and I were having some trouble in the early stages of our marriage, I was working a lot and she was under stress from her job as well. Almost every conversation we had turned into a fight, we were seeing a marriage counselor but it wasn't helping. One night we had a huge fight, way bigger than any of the others. At the end of the fight I was so angry and frustrated that I told your mom that it felt as if she didn't care about me anymore. I stormed out of the house after that. Next thing I know I found myself at a bar ordering one shot after another, I let the anger and frustration rule my mind and for some reason I thought that drinking would help me but it only made things worse. The next morning I woke up full of regret and misery, I thought it couldn't get any worse until I looked over and saw a blonde sleeping next to me." I look over to my mom to see tears forming in her eyes, the pain all too fresh in her mind. My stomach turned, completely grossed out by the thought of my father sleeping with anyone. Before I could be scarred any further from my thoughts my dad continued to speak.
"I felt sick, I had cheated on my wife, I had let my emotions get the best of me and it tore me apart inside, it still tears me apart inside. Once I came home I found your mother crying, I hated to have to tell her what I had done but I knew that I had to. After I told her she kicked me out and I didn't blame her, I deserved it, no matter what I said we are married and I never should have broken that trust and bond. After a month of being alone and miserable I got a call from your mother and she told me she was willing to work on our marriage. I was ecstatic, the love of my life was willing to take me back and I was going to make damn sure I never did anything to hurt her ever again. That promise to myself didn't last long, shortly after we started counseling again I got a call from Abby, the woman from the bar, she told she was pregnant and the baby was mine. I was shocked, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I slept with a woman outside my marriage and I had got her pregnant. Not shortly after that your mother found out she was pregnant with you. I was scared and stupid, I had two babies on the way, one with the woman I love, the woman I am married to, and the other with a woman I didn't even know. After I found out about you I called Abigail and asked her what she wanted from me, it was a horrible thing to do but I didn't want anything to come between my family. I was relieved when she told me that she didn't want anything from me. I was tortured over what I had done and what became of it, part of me knew that what I was doing was wrong but I was so selfish that I felt I had to chose between your mother and you, or some girl and the baby I didn't want. I have regretted the decision I made to abandon that child ever since." I stand there, shocked, staring at my father and seeing a stranger. The man that raised me would never do that, never cheat on my mom, never abandon his child, never... A sob makes its way out of my chest as I cover my mouth and start to hyperventilate.  This is horrible. If I hadn't of come along Brad would have had a father. My world has twisted and turned into something unrecognizable, my dad no longed seeming as the man that would do anything for his blood. I back away from them, my knees weak, utter exhaustion and sadness engulfing me. I don't know what to think, I feel numb. I feel completely empty. The man I looked up to my entire life abandoned a child, my sibling, and left him without a father, what am I supposed to think about that?! I rush towards me room, ignoring the calls of my parents behind me. I lock my bedroom door behind me and collapse on my bed.
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I cried for what felt like hours, my parents have each tried to get ne to come out and talk to them but I just couldn't. Through the jumbled thoughts in my mind, one thought came in clear, Cam, I needed Cam. I pull out my phone and through my blurry eyes I dial Cam's number. Ring, ring, rin-
"Cupcake, are you okay? " Cam asks. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off.
"Never mind, stupid question." He says, sighing. If I wasn't so upset I would giggle at his self reflection.
"Cam..." I whisper, sighing in relief at the sound of his voice. His voice fills my heart with love. That's what I need right now, love, I need Cam.
"Cupcake.." His voice trails off. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"I need you." I say, my voice shaking. I felt completely vulnerable and if time with Cam has taught me anything it's that he is someone that I can rely on.
"I'll be right over." He says softly.
"Thank you." I say and hang up. I wipe the remaining tears from my eyes and sit up. After several minutes alone with my thoughts I get a text from Cam that he is in front of my house. I grab my bag and quickly head out of my room and down the stairs. This house is suffocating me, with every turn I am surrounded by pictures of me and my family, a family that lied to me and each smile on my face in those pictures is a stab to my heart. I quickly walk past the living room, hoping that they don't see me.
"Hailee, wait!" My dad exclaims but it's too late, I am already out the door, not bothering to close it behind me. I rush towards Cam's car and slide in the passenger seat just as my dad walks out of the house. I look over at Cam and see a look of confliction on his face.
"Please...please drive." I beg him. He nods and drives us away from my house. I sigh in relief, trying not to dwell on my fathers sad experssion as we drove away. I close my eyes and will the pain and tears to go away. Before I know it we arrived at Cam's house and I am lead inside his house and into his room.
"What about Colby?" I ask. Cam shrugs off his jacket, tossing it in his closet.
"He's visiting my grandma." Cam says, looking at me, his eyes filled with sadness, sadness in seeing me in pain. I lay down on his bed, his scent all around me. Cam continues to stand, giving me my space. I reach up and grab his hand pulling at him. He gets the message and kicks off his shoes and climbs into his bed besides me. I turn to face him and cuddle into his chest. He runs his hands through my hair. With each breath I take I calm down more and more. His presence calms me. Cam wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I sigh and close my eyes.
"It's true. Brad is my brother." I whisper, admitting it aloud sends another stab of pain in my heart. Cam runs his fingers up and down my waist, waiting patiently for me to continue. I take another deep breath and tell him what my dad told me. At the end of my story, Cam's eyes held shock. He opens his mouth then closes it.
"I know, my family is messed up. Are you sure you want to be with a girl with so many issues?" I laugh dryly, trying to play off that I wasn't in so much pain. Cam moves his hand from my waist to cup my cheek in his palm.
"Of course I want you. Don't ever doubt that. I love you Cupcake" He says softly and kisses me on the forehead. I close my eyes and enjoy the closeness and the feeling of love surrounding me.
"Can we just lay here?" I ask desperatly, no longer wanting to discuss what happened. I know that I can't avoid the truth but just for tonight I want to ignore it, let myself fall into Cam's embrace and forget all that happened. Just for tonight. Cam just pulls me closer until I am laying slightly on top of his chest. I sigh in relief and rest my cheek on his chest. As exhaustion starts to take over me I feel Cam pulling his comforter over us and kissing the top of my head.
"Thank you for being here for me." I whisper.
"Always."
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I woke up alone two hours later, my throat so dry that it woke me up.  I look around, disorientated.  Cam is nowhere to be found.  I look at his nightstand to see a piece of paper laying on it.  I pick it up.

'I didn't want to leave you but I have to pick up Colby. Sleep well Cupcake, I love you.'

I put the note down and slip out of Cam's bed.  I walk towards the kitchen, desperate for a glass of water.  I search all the cupboards until I find the one that holds the cups.  I haven't been to Cam's house enough times to remember where they were kept plus Cam always insists on getting me anything I need when I am here.  He is so sweet.  I fill my glass with water and sit down at the kitchen table.  I take a small sip of the water, letting it hydrate my aching throat.  What am I going to do about Brad?  He has treated me like crap for years now but he is also my brother.  If I can convince him to talk to me, to make him understand that I had no idea that he and I were related then maybe, just maybe I can help him become the nice boy he used to be.  I sigh, my head pounding with so many thoughts, it felt as if it was one second from exploding.  I pull out my phone to see a few missed calls from my mom and my dad.  It was a little after eight p.m. and I had no intention of going home, not tonight, I couldn't face my dad.  I still can't wrap my brain around that he would abandon his child.  If the positions were switched and I was the baby out of his affair, he would have abandoned me just as easily as he abandoned Brad.  I just happened to have the right mother.  I shake my head, trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts and feelings rushing through me.  I rest my head on the table, enjoying the cold feel of the table against my forehead.  My life has changed forever, in as little as one day.  I wish I could be stronger, I wish I didn't show Cam how weak I am all the time.  I want him to know that he can depend on me too and even with all that is going on right now, I still have that nagging feeling in the back of my head that reminds me that he is keeping something from me, something not good.  I hear the front door being unlocked and I jolt up from the table, I run my hair through my hair, trying to look less like a mess.  I wrap my hair up in a bun and walk towards the kitchen sink.  I splash water on my face, not wanting Cam to come home and still see me as a wreck.  I can only imagine what a mess I look like after all that crying.  I walk out into the livingroom to see Cam holding Colby in his arms.  I smile slightly at my cute boyfriend and his adorable little brother. Cam smiles at me and walks towards his brothers room.
"I'll be right back."  Cam whispers while he walks past me.  I nod and walk back into Cam's room.  I climb into his bed, laying under his covers, instantly surounded by warmth.  I close my eyes and I can feel as the tension in my body washes away.  I sigh in relief, my brain is quieting down to only one thought. Brad is my brother. Brad is my brother. I want to yell out loud, all I want is my thoughts to stop, to curl into Cam's arms and forget there is a world outside of this house.  However life isn't that easy, you can't just shut off your brain.  I hear Cam walk in and he slips into his bed beside me.  He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer. 
"How are you feeling?  Any better?"  Cam asks.  I put my hand on his arm.
"I feel a lot better now."  I say trufully.
"Can we just lay here, forever?"  I whisper, almost pleading for him to tell me that was possible.
"You can stay here as long as you want."  He whispers.  I close my eyes.
"I love you." I whisper.
"I love you too Cupcake. Always."