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Chris
I had fun with rih. I wish it was only me and her.. I wish this was my actual home... I wish I wasn't here.. But if I wasn't here I would've never met her. I layed there with my thoughts.. Her beautiful now black hair... Shoulder length.. Tight waves. A little shaved on the side so she typically will keep her hair to one side.. Her beautiful green eyes perfectly mesmerizing.. Then the star tats that run down the back of her neck.. Kinda like mine behind my ear.. Then the tat on her hand. Her beautiful soft looking lips and soft caramel skin. A beautiful body.. With a tattoo underneath her tits... And her little accent when she talks.. The way she scrunched her nose when she laughs...I smiled and shut My eyes with her image in my brain....

Robyn: *cries* "NO CHRIS STAY AWAY FROM ME" *runs away*

Me: *chuckles*

Robyn: "CHRIS!!" *runs into a room.. And is trapped in a corner*

Me: *walks in and closes and locks the door behind me*

Robyn: "CHRIS PLEASE STOP SNAP OUT OF IT"

Me: *walks over with my fists balled up...*

She got up from the ground and looked for something to hit me with... Until she noticed a window on the other side of the room... She quickly ran over, I grabbed her by her wrist and she jerked my away I was about to hit her when she leans out the window...

Me: "ROBYN"

I woke up shaking, sweating and crying... Out of breath I get up and walk back and forth...
I'm a monster
I'm not good for her
we can't..
I won't let myself
I can't ruin her life
I...

Frustrated with myself I fell to my knees and cried in my hands. Before I knew it, the daylight shown, I heard voices outside.. I quickly sprinted into my bed and pretended that I was asleep.

Robyn: "wake up Chris"

I heard a low voice say and shake me. I couldn't show her my face.. She would know something is up.

Me: "mhm"

Robyn: "umm.. Ok.. Come out soon"

I couldn't handle this.. I let her leave.. I then sighed and got up.. I was so mad at myself... I closed my eyes for a minute then proceeded to go to the bathroom. Throwing some cold water onto my face.. I could only think about Robyn. As I walked out... I saw her standing with Mary. I grabbed my food and sat alone (as usual) I didn't take a bite of food as I have been doing so that I could take my meds. Instead I just layed my head down. A few minutes later I felt a warm hand brush my shoulder knowing who it was, I jerked her hand off my shoulder. She leaned down and whispered into my ear.

Robyn: "Chris I don't know what's up.. If you wanna talk later I'm here for you.. And take your meds"

I ignored her and let her walk away. About 10 minutes later I felt a masculine hand grip my arm. I knew who it was so I clenched my jaw and flexed my arm.

Justin: *whispers* "boy you have been doing so good lately.. Do this easily and take your meds Chris"

I ignored him and kept my head on the table. A few minutes later after he was through with begging me.. He pushes my head up, opened my jaw and through in the meds. I kept my eyes shut... When I opened them I looked directly at Robyn... He then closed my mouth and forced me to swallow. I felt my eyes turn red..

Justin: "keep this up and it'll go back to old times again"

He walked away.. I rolled my eyes and went into my room. Living in this facility day by day I really realize that nothing goes on. It's so boring.. Like atleast hold some classes for things you are interested in. Then again maybe it's because I lock myself In my room all the time. I went into the shower.. I got lost in my thoughts and realized I spent 45 minutes in here... Getting out I wrapped myself in a towel. Walking out I dropped it and slipped on some boxers and some shorts.. When Robyn walked in.

Robyn; "oh I'm sorry"

Me: "..."

She closes the door then turns back around again since I didn't respond, by now I was shirtless sitting on the bed.

Robyn: "I always walk Into you changing.. You never say anything.. I guess you really don't care.. But then again you are always shirtless"

Me: "..."

Robyn: *walks closer to me and sits down* "what's wrong.. You look like you've been crying.."

Me: *silence*

Robyn; "Chris I thought we were close enough for you to tell me what's up"

Me: *looks up at her*  "rob I think it's best if we don't talk anymore.."

Robyn: *mouths rob with confused look* "umm" *puts hand on mine* "what's wrong"

Me: *slides hand away* "I just think it's best if we keep our distance"....

I didn't want to tell her.. But I can't just push her away without letting her know.

Robyn: "what do you mean distance.. Chris you mean more to me than any of my other friends"

Me: "ba- Robyn I don't want to hurt you"

Robyn: "Chris you won't..."

Me: "Robyn you know I have no control over my anger.. I could Spazz any moment"

Robyn: "Chris we went over this already.. It's ok. I feel safe and happy with you. You are my best friend. You made one mistake .. You been alive for how long and it only happened once."

Me: "but my dream-"

I was cut off by Robyn grabbing my face and intertwining her lips with mine.. I was shocked and confused for a second.. Until I realized what was going on and I began to kiss her back.. She rubbed my bare back as I stuck my hand up her shirt...She pulled away ..

Robyn: "I- I- I'm sorry"

Me: "uhh.. It's.. Cool"

Robyn: "maybe I should go"

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To be continued

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