A Not so Perfect Story

Part 17- Happy Pills

Happy Pills
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     My hands start shaking even more, and the complete silence was killing me. I'm glad that Calvin left me alone, but yet...I just want him next to me again. I sit lower into the bathtub, and stare at the faucet. My stomach turns as I reach for the handle, and slowly turn it to the cold side. Freezing water spills out from the faucet, until I turn it to the shower mode.

     I lean back again, and let the cold water hit my face. My mind is going off into another reality, and for once I don't want it to leave me, my mind is the only thing that makes me feel semi sane, but it's leaving me like everything else in my life has done. I just can't help but to blame everything that went wrong in my life on me.

     I blame the fact that I'm pregnant on me. I blame myself for leaving my mother with Hank. I blame myself for my father leaving us behind. I blame myself for Kacy killing her self. Worse of all, I'm blaming myself for not wanting to live anymore. I want to be with Kacy, and my dad again. I want everything to be silent and cold. I don't want happiness unless it's with the people that truly love and need me in their life. I just want the tears that I cry to be happy tears, and not full with gloom. I don't want to feel anything, but joy.

     Closing my eyes feels safe while the droplets of water fall on my face. I smile softly, while I force myself to swallow the pills. The quote on quote, "happy pills" I got from the medicine cabinet, before I ran up into the bathroom. I sigh, waiting for the pills to start to work. My hearts start to beat fast, and I can feel my vision start to give out. My breathing slows, as I drop the pills to my legs, my body goes numb.

     "F...fun," I cough out before I start to doze to sleep. A smile creeps on my face, I can hear my heartbeat start to struggle. I follow along with the beating of my heart, it is like it was someone's first time playing the drums. There is no rhythm to it, not at all.

     It is so peaceful, but the boot bursts open, "hey? You good? You have been in her for like two ho-" it was Calvin. I cough, and gasp for air. (Low key getting AHS feels rn wtf)

     "HADEN?!" Calvin yells, running over to me. He hold my head up, and that's the last thing I remember. All my vision got lost, I just hope I don't wake up. I can't face Calvin.