Social Pariah

ALONE

 Lucas trudged across the hallways of his school, waiting for a sign of a person to come and talk to him. It had been the third time this week that he was waiting for a shadow that would never come.

He knew how everyone in the school hated him. His friends left him because of his own actions. He was scared of himself, for being so insensitive to others when his Dad left his mother. He was angry at the world before and that bitterness caused him to lose his friends. He wanted his friends to go back to him but what could he do? He cannot go back into time anyway. The only thing left to do was to focus on the future.

"Life is precious. Live your life to the fullest."

His father had been his best friend and companion ever since he was young. Lucas didn't have a lot of friends. He was considered as one of the shy people in their class even if he knew in his heart that he wasn't. He wanted to make friends, he really did. He was just confused at life at the moment and wanted to focus on understanding everything around him.

He was different, he knew, and his father was the only one who understood him. When his father died, Lucas felt diminished. He felt as if he didn't have a reason to live. He was never really close to his mother. Lucas never knew his real mother. His stepmother was the mother he had lived with ever since he was one year old. He never had any single memory with his real mother.

Lucas could barely remember the face of his real mother. His father rarely talked about her and avoided the topic thoroughly. Lucas figured that maybe his father really was hurt more than he let on. And he was determined to find out why.

As he neared the school door, he saw a lot of eyes staring at him as he walked passed by. He didn't dare try to smile for he already knew what reactions he would get. Pure silence. And more glares from other people as well.

He was tired of everything. But he didn't want to give up. For he promised his father something. He promised that he would live normally no matter what and live his life as if it was his last day. And he will. He just needed to find his way back to his own self.

"It'll be soon," he whispered as he made his way out of the school, each step echoing. And he wanted to say he didn't care about what the others think. But he did. He always did.